Thursday, 23 May 2013

Cat - Things I wasn't prepared for

  • Random fifteen minutes of complete freak-outs that can't ever be stopped, only waited out. 
  • "You've moved, therefore you are awake, if you don't get up immediately to feed me and play with me I will claw at the soles your feet" -5:30 AM
  • "I will not eat this unless you hand-feed it to me"
  • "You are eating my fish" -on principle, whenever I am eating fish. 
  • "I accidentally rolled off this table in an embarrassing manner and it is your fault because you were in the same room"
  • "I am really enjoying you petting me [purrs] perhaps now would be a good time to SCRATCH OUT YOUR EYES"
  • "The soil in this pot of herbs would look much better on the floor of your kitchen." -4:30 AM
  • "Yum, human hair."
  • "I lost interest in chasing that ball and you walked away to do some work so now I'm whining as loudly as possible because how dare you" - a Memoir
  • "Were you reading that?"
  • "Let me write this important mail for you. With my paws."
  • Other people - strategies to alienate and/or kill strangers.

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