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In Love Forever: 1x07.
Seven episodes into In Love Forever, and arguably Runch and Neen’s marriage has never been in a worse spot than it’s in now, even though they haven’t brought up the topic of divorce again. Neen has moved out and set very clear boundaries on the conditions of her return: Kingkamol needs to move out. Runch is not yet in a position to fulfil this demand because it would cross a boundary to throw her mother out of the house when she needs a roof over her head, even if even Runch, at this stage, must be aware to some extent that this whole situation is entirely manufactured, that there is nothing real that is keeping Kingkamol from moving back in with her husband. She knows her father well enough to realise that he hasn’t actually kicked his wife out of the house, but her entire childhood has programmed her to be a filial daughter, and it would go against everything that Kingkamol has put into her head to actively kick her out now. I’ve been thinking a lot about Runch as a character – how frustrating it is to watch her, the dynamic of a character who is struggling to make a firm decision she herself knows she must make. In a way, this frustration drives the entire plot of the show: it all hinges on Runch’s fence-sitting, on how deeply embedded her role as a mediator is, how hard it is for her to make decisions that would be, above all, for her own good, for her own happiness. It might be frustrating, but it’s also deeply realistic. It might have seemed like she already made a decision after realising her mother was setting her up with Meilin, that this was a breaking point that changed her perception of her mother. It was enough for her to voice her deep disappointment in seeing her childhood hero transformed into someone she could no longer idolise because of her actions against Neen. But it’s not quite that easy to unlearn patterns, to find the strength to do something as unthinkable as cutting off her mother for good, and Kingkamol knows her daughter well enough to play her in exactly the way that would work the best. I think going into this separation from Neen, Runch genuinely thought that her mother had changed and made amends. From everything she has seen, Neen is the one who remained resistant against her mother-in-law who had apologised, who had made an effort to live together peacefully. She hasn’t seen the side of Kingkamol that openly admitted to Neen that this is all a front, a campaign against her. She hasn’t yet realised how manipulative her mother is, and the most interesting twist in this episode is that Runch ultimately asks Neen’s help not because she is building a case against her mother in some public forum, but because she knows that she ultimately needs this proof for herself: to see with her own eyes what her mother is capable of so she can solve the conundrum in her head, to help her act, to find the resolve. It’s the bravest Runch has ever been, making that request, because she already knows what she will find and what decision she will have to make at the end of it, she is just working out how to get herself in a head-space where she can finally find her own freedom and happiness.
The opening scenes of the episode perfectly capture how little room Runch has for herself to rest or consider or act. Her mother is smothering in her attention and affection, taking up every minute of her time, trying to assert her control through constant phone calls, asking for constant reaffirmations of her love. At work, she calls again and again, regardless of how busy Runch is. When Runch doesn’t pick up, she calls the assistant, with no awareness or willingness to concede that Runch exists as a person in other spheres where she needs to be able to focus. It’s overbearing, destructive: and then there is no chance for relief, because when Runch returns home, her mother dramatically waits for her on the living room couch, again asking for reassurance and confirmation that she is still a devoted daughter. It’s done under the pretence of enjoying this time that they are spending together, the first time they are this close again after the marriage, but it looks like suffocation. There is nobody else at home to balance it out, Runch is by herself, she is no longer returning to a home that has her wife in it to provide the comfort she actually needs. I think there’s something in comparing this overwhelming display of affection without any actual care for what Runch needs in the moment with how Runch approaches her attempts to make up with Neen, which are also not what Neen needs or has asked for. It should look romantic from the outside, the endless supply of flowers and desserts she has delivered to the office, but Neen has told Runch what she needs and it’s the one thing she can’t give her, and the flowers and gifts no longer work. In fact, it has gotten bad enough, for the first time, that Neen doesn’t even keep up the pretence of their marriage in front of others. Her assistant is well-aware that things aren’t going well because she is the one who ends up with the desserts, and Neen tells Runch to stop in front of strangers in the lobby of her office, which feels like not even her father’s request of remaining publicly amicable until the restaurant opening is restraining her anymore from showing just how unhappy she is (and even that moment gets interrupted by a phone call from Kingkamol which Runch answers, because she has been conditioned to do so instantly, and it costs her when she doesn’t – remember the one time she didn’t, when her mother actually needed her, the kind of lesson that is impossible to unlearn and would pop up every time she sees her mum’s name come up on her phone). Ling plays Runch’s quiet desperation so incredibly well – she’s never loud in her performance of being trapped and desperate, but it’s always obvious in her face what a toll it takes that she can’t get out of this situation unless she does something she can’t bring herself to do yet.
In Love Forever: 1x06.
Six episodes in, this might be the happiest and most stable that we’ve seen Runch and Neen in their marriage. Runch is happiest when her little acts of service – bringing flowers, tea and cake to her wife in the office, for example – make Neen (and Neen’s assistant, who voices that Runch’s setting of standards makes it hard to find a partner of her own who measures up) smile. They’ve decided not to divorce, they are giving their marriage a second chance, and for now, they look like they’re living through a honeymoon period that showcases what they would be like without the malicious outside influence that has been haunting their marriage before it even began. Under the surface though, something much darker is happening: they are living in completely different realities, where Runch exists in the happy delusion that her mother has truly changed and is attempting to make up for her past transgressions, while Neen is convinced that Kingkamol is only pretending and is in fact executing a plan to drive a wedge between them yet again. Something about the happiness of their scenes together, when they are alone, co-existing with the loneliness of Neen being convinced that she is right but being unable to bring Runch along into this realisation, makes it even more heartbreaking: because Kingkamol has invaded their private sphere, lives in their house, is always there, meaning there’s nowhere to escape to anymore.
What makes the situation worse is that the viewers know that Neen is completely correct in her assessment of Kingkamol, even before she openly reveals that this is part of a devious plan, that she is still pursuing her ultimate goal of destroying the marriage. Neen knows that she can’t just tell Runch what is happening, that Runch won’t believe it until she has irrefutable proof – in the beginning of the episode, she gently probes her for suspicions and there are none. You could blame Runch for that naivete, but it must be such a seductive dream for her to have everything she wanted, to have the central conflict of her life seemingly resolved with Kingkamol finally apologising to Neen and, apparently, treating her with respect for the first time ever. Runch is not a character who will go into any interaction or personal relationship assuming the worst, in spite of all of her bad experiences with both her mother and with Att. Runch’s natural position is always seeking balance (to a fault), even when she should be making a firm decision, and so it is no wonder that she is enjoying what she thinks is a detente between her wife and her mother. At the same time, there’s something undeniably comical about her essentially turning into the “this is fine” dog in the meme while her house is burning down around her (but it’s very, very tragic for Neen). And what can Neen do, when Runch’s perception of her reality means that any retribution, any fighting back, would look like pettiness against someone who is trying to redeem herself? For someone whose nagging and insults started off as being fairly ineffective because they never hit where Neen could really hurt (the pain came from not being defended by her wife), this particular plan seems immaculately conceived to truly destroy Neen (and, because Neen is Runch’s happiness, Kingkamol’s daughter as well).
Neen’s family is so happy when they finally reveal that they have decided to stay married, it’s like an alternative universe in terms of what their marriage could be like if it was fully supported. This time, when Runch drinks with Neen’s dad and brother, it isn’t an act of small revenge on her, but a genuine celebration of them finally “being a real family” (but even then, Neen can’t join in because she knows she will have to drive them home because of Kingkamol). When they return home to find Kingkamol waiting up for them who blocks their way with so much fervour that her daughter not only finally speaks her mind a little bit (because she does speak up when she’s drunk) – “I’m all grown up now, I’m not a child” but also vomits on her. It leads to the most direct conversation that Neen and Kingkamol have had about their warring ideas about what Runch needs and should do: Neen says she doesn’t want to constrain Runch, that she is giving her the freedom to make her own choices. Kingkamol complains that Runch never used to get drunk when she lived with her and Neen says “Maybe she didn’t have the courage to live life the way she wanted yet.” It’s such a mature way to stand up against Kingkamol because ultimately this isn’t a fight about possessing Runch for Neen, but a struggle to give Runch the option to choose her own happiness, her own life, over an overbearing mother who insists that she still knows what’s good for her daughter and should have the right to choose for her. It’s freedom vs control, which makes it very clear who genuinely cares and who doesn’t really value her happiness – because to Kingkamol, her identity is so caught up in her daughter’s that she doesn’t see her as her own person, with her own thoughts and wishes. Neen even acknowledges in that conversation that she knows how much Kingkamol loves Runch (even if it is a deeply twisted love), but that she is the one who lives with her every day, because Runch has already chosen to share her life with her.
Nothing that Neen will ever say to Kingkamol will change her mind though, and so she continues to terrorise their life together in every way possible. She vacuums the house in the morning to wake them up. She bullies her daughter into calling off a date night so she can cook for her, which leads to a hilarious competition between her and Neen that ends with two inedible overly salted dishes that Runch still has to bear with a smile because she’s trying to keep the peace. After Neen directly confronts Kingkamol over her intentions and gets confirmation that her suspicion was correct (“I’ll do whatever it takes to get you out of Runch’s life”), her behaviour escalates even more: she gossips with a neighbour about Neen not taking care of her wife, even inviting her into the house that isn’t hers. She buys trees to “ward off evil” (she’s still there, so clearly it’s not working), permanently changing a home that isn’t hers, literally planting her own roots in her daughter’s marriage, without asking anyone for permission. She records a fight she has with Neen to play it back to her daughter, making herself appear as the victim, the reasonable demure one, Neen as the aggressive and unforgiving daughter-in-law (and Runch never questions why her mother would be recording the conversation in the first place, it’s her friend overseas who points out to her how insane that is). And throughout, when Neen pleads with Runch to see through her mother, to at least question her motives, Runch remains steadfast in her conviction that her mother is being sincere. What breaks the camel’s back in the end is Neen overhearing the neighbours gossiping about her marriage when they go on an early-morning run – and it’s no wonder that this is what makes her snap in the end, because we know that Runch delights in the very acts of service that are being twisted into something ugly here, that this is how Runch expresses her love and that Neen lets her do it because she knows that it makes her happy. It’s malicious because it questions the very basis of their love for each other, while disregarding all the ways that Neen looks after Runch (and it’s perfect that it happens in an episode where Neen does so much to accommodate her). When Neen confronts Kingkamol at home, she doesn’t hold back, but in the scuffle that ensues, Runch ends up protecting her mother, raising her voice at Neen, and comforting her mother when Neen runs out of the house, exasperated. It’s the natural outcome of them existing in different realities, with Runch’s inability to see her mother for who she really is, even after what she tried to do with Meilin – and it’s bad enough that Neen moves back with her parents for now.
Natee, in France, talks some sense into her after the fact, and maybe part of Runch’s problem is that there are so few outside voices of reason in her life, that she is so isolated, that even this one person who seems to have a grasp of the situation is so far and so many time zones away. “Would my mum really go that far”, she still asks about a person who set up a whole other woman for her to marry instead of Neen while they were still married. Runch goes over to Neen’s house to apologise to the whole family, promising again that she is choosing Neen, but Neen, knowing she would probably give in the moment she opens the door, refuses to come back until Kingkamol has left (“I don’t want to hear your apologies. They’re nothing but words.”) And Runch, being who she is, still thinks she can walk the line somehow.
The flashback is still of a happy moment: this time, their wedding day, Runch happily saying, “And from this day forward, we’ll be each other’s wives forever.” Considering where we are at in the present time, it seems like a dark omen of what’s to come, in spite of their happiness that day.
Random notes:
In another show, maybe it would be addressed how Runch unfailingly drinks until she’s drunk every time she touches alcohol, but I don’t think it’s going to happen here, it just coincidentally fits in well with the sense that she has depression and should, as said before, see a therapist.
It’s also interesting that Neen’s mum is the one refuting the idea of Runch ever cutting her mother off completely, because I thought that in Runch’s conversation with her dad in the previous episode, that’s exactly the option she deep-down knew she would eventually have to choose before Kingkamol’s miraculous and fake change of mind later on. It doesn’t seem to be unthinkable to her, just deeply uncomfortable and clearly a very last resort.
Kingkamol bringing a picture of herself and Runch and placing it in front of a wedding picture is next-level outrageous, such a clear symbolic act of disrespecting Neen, that it’s hard not to feel some kind of way about Runch not reprimanding her for it.
Director P’Jaew writing perfectly romantic ad copy for Whoop watches with this: “They’re watches. But they’re not meant to tell how much time has passed. Instead they’ll remind me that with every step I take, you’ll always be there with me.”
In Love Forever: 1x05.
In Love Forever’s fifth episode, almost halfway through the season, is a good point to think about the nature of apologies, as various forms of them take up the majority of the story here. What is a good apology? What’s a sincere one, one that can be believed? We’ve seen Runch apologise to Neen numerous times – sometimes, I would argue, almost reflexively, as if to ward off an argument that she knows is coming by taking the blame early, to avoid a worse outcome. Those previous apologies were sincere – Runch never wants to hurt Neen – but not really effective, because Runch didn’t know yet what she had to do to change things. Apologising to Neen for her mother’s behaviour again and again is pointless if there are no boundaries in place to keep Kingkamol from hurting her daughter-in-law, and in any case, Runch is apologising on behalf of someone else, someone who doesn’t even accept that she has done something wrong and has no intention of changing her behaviour. At the beginning of the episode, Runch is back to apologising (for her mother) after they return from the argument over Meilin, but this time, things are different: Neen isn’t emotional because she is upset with Runch, she has just witnessed her wife standing up for her, against her mother, with determination and conviction, for the first time. “You already protected me. You did it in front of your mum and everyone” she says, crying, looking vulnerable but also different from their previous fights, where she ultimately knew that nothing would change because Runch was in an impossible position. “It made me so happy that I was speechless”. It’s what she has wanted this whole time: for Runch to make a choice and to choose her (“Today I chose you. I chose our family. You are my home, Neen.”) – and it should change everything. It’s so sad for them that it only works for a little while, because they aren’t up against a rational opponent, but someone utterly determined to do whatever it takes to destroy their love for one another.
Runch puts her change of heart into words in another conversation with Natee, her overseas friend, the next day: she says that she wants to “protect someone for the first time in my life”, like the instinct to choose Neen over her mother outweighs the guilt and gratefulness she has for Kingkamol, and that she won’t divorce Neen. “I won’t go anywhere. I’ll keep staying with her until she chases me away herself”, which is a brave and true statement but also, secretly, a pretty dire prediction of what might happen in the future. The next time they’re at the brink of divorce, it might just be because Neen is the one who suggests it, but Runch at this stage seems so blissed out by the path that has opened to her because she has finally made a choice that it doesn’t yet occur to her what her mother is truly capable of when she’s backed into a corner.
Neen also processes what happened with her friends – and it’s interesting that these two conversations with people outside of the relationship bracket the conflict in this episode. Neen seems so happy, so relieved, that Runch stood up for her for the first time, and she says she realised that when she agreed to the divorce she was just being “snarky”, because sometimes Neen tends to think one thing and says another. One of her friends suggests that she has got her happy ending now, which is definitely not something any character should be saying halfway through the season of a show (but viewed from the escalation that will happen later, Neen’s little smile of hope will break your heart even more).
It should be immediately apparent to Runch how hard this process will be, even if she has now decided for herself how to proceed, when she goes over to her mother’s house to establish the boundaries she wants to put in place to protect her marriage. Kingkamol sees Runch’s presence alone as proof that nothing has changed, that her daughter is still as devoted to her as she wants her to be, and she immediately brings up Meilin again, as if all the things that Runch said to her last night had gone straight over her head (I giggled a bit at the deliberate use of a flashback here – the show uses these replays of scenes we’ve already seen very sparingly, they’re such a staple for GLs, but this one was used specifically to showcase how wild it is that Kingkamol would think she could brush this under the rug and just pick up where she left off). It makes Runch furious enough that she says the most determined words we’ve heard her speak yet: “mind your own business”. It only serves to play into Kingkamol’s perception that Neen is the problem because she has changed her daughter from the devoted, pliable child she used to be, to someone with a whole inner world and life that is now unreachable to her, instead of realising that this is just the nature of children growing up to become their own people. In a last-ditch effort, Runch kneels down in front of her mother to explain that she is grateful for everything that she has given to her, that she will continue to take care of her and her father. Then she pleads with her: “Please, don’t destroy our family, don’t hurt Neen, either with your words or your actions.” She is clearly stating her boundaries, and Kingkamol immediately and furiously crosses them, saying she hates Neen, that she would have prevented the marriage if she had known this would happen. Then she finishes it off by calling Runch “stupid” – again, after Runch, for the first time in her life, found the determination and bravery to stand up to her overbearing mother.
I don’t know if Runch went into this conversation expecting a different outcome or if it only served to confirm for her what she already suspected: that the only way out is a clean break and distance, because her mother will continue to disregard any attempt to protect Neen (it fits that the first time we meet her she is breaking an earlier boundary, when she just turns up at the gate of their house without calling first). Runch’s dad confirms it for her: “she’ll never change, don’t expect her to change, it’s a lost cause”. It’s so hard to hear Runch talk about how she idolised her mother when she was a child, how she was her hero, and how her perception of her has changed now. “I know what I have to do. I just don’t want to do it.” She’s grieving the loss of who she thought her mother was, and she knows that she can’t save her marriage without cutting Kingkamol out of her life.
I don’t think anything the show does could ever really justify Kingkamol’s actions, especially as they become more unhinged in the rest of this episode, but the flashbacks to Runch’s childhood show what she feels she is losing at least: the devotion of a child who thought the world of her, whose entire world turned around her, until she got married. It’s like she put all of her energy and hope and dreams into Runch without realising that Runch would eventually have to go off to live her own life, and now all that is left is a house filled to the brim with memorabilia of her daughter and a husband who doesn’t comprehend her actions. It’s not exactly an unhappy marriage, but an empty one, because Kingkamol has tended to Runch, and is still obsessed with only her, and her husband is kind of just there as a prop. It’s a stark contrast to Runch and Neen’s marriage which is filled with so much devotion, care, desire and love when it is free from Kingkamol’s influence: these two people are habituated to each other, but they don’t provide for each other emotionally. Apart from Runch, Kingkamol’s life is empty, her house is a shrine to a relationship that is broken, her marriage is unfulfilled with a husband who is, emotionally and maybe also physically, frequently far away. There’s a haunting quality to little Runch’s words echoing in Kingkamol’s mind: “I won’t leave you. I’ll always love you more than anyone. I promise.” It’s so obviously a promise that no parent should ever take so seriously to build an entire life on, and yet here the threat of it being broken sends Kingkamol into a spiral.
But back to apologies, with Meilin, who does a whole tour of them, meeting all the standards of a good one: she talks to Runch to clear the air and clarify that she never wanted to mess with her marriage. She goes to Neen, who seems reluctant to show too much of her feelings but also accepts her apology as sincere. Her final meeting with Kingkamol breaks the last straw as far as Kingkamol’s rationality is concerned: Meilin makes it clear as she can that she will not be anyone’s tool, especially not to break up a marriage, destroying any hope that Kingkamol had for this particular plan of attack. While Neen and Runch rebuild their relationship and reconfirm their devotion for each other, Kingkamol goes back to scheming.
The reconciliation scene is beautiful, visually reminiscent of all those flashbacks of them initially dating, with a care-free atmosphere of two people who feel like they’re falling in love with each other in a new way. They are going for a picnic, Neen rides on the back of Runch’s bike, they’re finally taking the time to have a full conversation instead of distracting themselves from it by falling into bed with each other.
Runch: You asked me who I’d choose between you and my mum. Will you stay by my side?
Neen: So we’re not getting divorced anymore, right?
Runch: No, we’re not.
Neen: We’ve been through a lot. We’ve given each other a chance. We’ve expected things and been let down over and over again. I hope this was the last time. I really want us to be happy together.
Runch: I want us to be happy together too.
It’s honest and direct and a new beginning, but it also comes with the kernel of discomfort from Neen’s warning about hoping that this was the last time: knowing Kingkamol, we can feel that it won’t be. And again the parallels in this show are so well-considered because the next morning, when Runch and Neen are in bed and Runch insists that there is no reason to wait for nighttime before they can have sex while slipping her hand under the cover, she is inadvertently replaying what happened in her dream: she’s wearing the same clothes, she’s taking control, she’s asking for what she wants, and, just like in the dream, a phone call interrupts them. It’s Runch’s dad for a change, but that doesn’t make it any less upsetting when the true extent of Kingkamol’s new unhinged phase is revealed. Her new plan, apparently, is to ruin her own marriage along with her daughter’s: skilfully, she’s baited her hapless husband into kind of saying to give him some space which is enough linguistic room to claim he has thrown her out of the house, as she works herself into a tantrum, packs her bags, and shows up at Runch’s gate unannounced, ready to move in.
It almost doesn’t succeed because Neen manages to stay calm as the antics play out and reasonably suggests that Kingkamol should be having a conversation with her husband, because “married couples should talk when there’s a problem” (a truth she has come to the very hard way). Here we arrive at the final apology of the episode, one that meets neither standard – it is not sincere, nor indicates a change of behaviour to prevent further injury. In a dramatic scene, Kingkamol goes to her knees in front of Neen, begging for her forgiveness, promising to treat her better and stay out of her business, working herself up into such a tantrum that she ends up fainting. Obviously, they can’t turn her away now, and so she moves in. In a second debrief with her friends later (that comes with very different emotions than the first one), Neen reveals that she is well-aware that this is another plot to destroy her marriage, and that she is going to war to prove it to Runch, who fully believes her mother is being genuine. “This isn’t just family drama, this is a war between a wife and a mother-in-law.”
In the flashback scene, we’ve moved to a year ago when Runch proposed to Neen in a beautiful scene set by the seaside, guiding Neen down a trail of seashells and rocks, finally presenting the ring to her in a seashell. I think it’s significant that the proposal itself already holds some sadness within it instead of just being joyful: Runch talks about the heaviness of her life, that she wouldn’t have wanted to keep going if she hadn’t met Neen. I feel like this show won’t have the time to explore what exactly Runch’s life was like before she met Neen but the hints of it are there to flesh out her character. We know from what Runch’s dad said that Kingkamol started her campaign against Neen when they were just dating (but the very structure of the flashbacks – only showing their happy moments – means we haven’t seen Kingkamol appear yet in the past), so it’s probably safe to assume that Neen would have some reservations here, that play out for a microsecond in her face before she says yes.
Runch: I may not be a perfect woman. I have responsibilities. I have my own world that can feel heavy at times, but if you accept, I want you to be there by my side, in my world, on every good day and every difficult day. Will you marry me? Will you be my wife and my family?
Random notes:
The acting in that first scene is so good: they are both so vulnerable with each other, so soft. Runch is on her knees, kind of offering this determination that she has found, the choice she has made, to fix things, not even realising to start off with that Neen already knows and has just been waiting for this moment. The show hasn’t really made it explicit that Neen went into this whole thing thinking genuinely that Runch had stopped loving here but realised she was wrong through the last few episodes – they never really directly talked about it – but it’s clear that this could be a new beginning for them if only Kingkamol wasn’t this determined to destroy them.
It’s just a prop, but the Foundations of Weaving book that Runch brings to their picnic date made me think that maybe Neen’s question about what kind of life Runch envisions for herself, to be truly happy, would look a lot simpler than the one she has currently, and we can only hope that one day she gets to live it. Also, talking about props on this show, Kingkamol’s shrine to Runch is truly magnificently detailed (all the cards she’s ever written to her mother!), even if it just takes up a few seconds of actual screen time.
Kingkamol moving in is played for laughs to start off with and the scene of Runch and Neen watching a horror film together, already freaked out (I love that Runch is the wussier one between them), to then have Kingkamol appear at their door in a black face mask to add to the horrors, is very, very funny: but it takes a lot of suspension of disbelief that Neen would be the one ending up sharing a bed with her mother-in-law. I’ll allow it if only for how funny Neen is when she pretends to sleep-talk where she gets to say all the things that propriety would normally forbid her, already set in her agenda to prove that Kingkamol is faking it all (“You think you can fool me by being nice”). Also Orm seems like she’s having an absolute blast in the scene.
