Last Tango in Halifax – Let’s live with what’s on the table.

Last Tango in Halifax: 2x04.

We start off right where we left off, with Alan and Celia in the restaurant having lunch, and Celia’s reaction to Alan completing the story that he started telling before they were married; that Gillian didn’t just watch Eddie die, but “finished him off”. He is worried about Celia, who is always hard to read when it comes to reacting to shocking news – for now, she still seems to empathize with Gillian, pointing out that she knows “what it can feel like to be trapped with the wrong person” and that Alan’s actions were “the right thing, the only thing”, but Alan also tells her that bearing that secret is the reason why he’s reacted so violently to Gillian before, because he expects her to be more grateful and courteous, and why he is now putting more distance between them. It’s hard to carry someone else’s secret for them, and now that he is finally happy, more happy than he imagined he could be again, he doesn’t want to spoil it with all the things that have been haunting him for years. There’s more to it, which he reveals later: he hints that he’s had suspicions that Eddie hadn’t tried to commit suicide, that Gillian killed him. This must be a terrible burden to bear, that suspicion about your own daughter, and it explains a lot about how much their relationship unravelled in the course of the past few episodes. 

It’s sad too, since Gillian seems more together now that she carries the most responsibility for Raff’s baby (now called Emily Jane, after a spontaneous trip to the registry office that John initiates after a rant about “men’s rights” because of course he’d be that kind of person), even if her past transgressions haunt her, and she doesn’t actually stand up to acknowledge them – and, as things go, eventually everything falls apart when everyone meets at dinner. John has “immersed” himself into her life for research purposes, since his novel is “set on a farm”, and taking care of the baby is a good excuse that makes him feel useful, which he usually isn’t. John has somehow managed to make himself part of their family, the same way that he is feeding off everyone for the sake of his family saga – but then Robbie comes around and joins them for dinner, apologetic about his reaction to Celia’s revelation about Gillian’s abortion, which goes surprisingly well, until Judith shows up as well – with John’s manuscript in tow, outraged, and after a failed and awkward attempt to find him in Harrogate, where she wasn’t exactly welcomed by Celia (“You’re her, aren’t you? You’re the whore?”). It turns out that the novel that she is writing quite eloquently in-between trips to get more alcohol is also a story about two old people falling in love, and that she was the one first pointing out that the thing happening in John’s family would make a good story. She also first proposed the idea of telling the story from Gillian’s perspective, and John stole some other ideas from her as well.  

It’s an interesting revelation, considering that Judith seemed genuinely delighted to finally meet Alan and Celia, while John has never really expressed any interest in their story at all, and is mainly using this opportunity to get closer to Gillian. She argues that there is a difference between “observing something and making the decision to write about it”, which is valid – she barely ever witnessed any of the events personally, she is the one who seems genuinely invested in the story, while John, apart from writing about Gillian, mainly seems to see this as a chance to get back at Caroline in a literary way. More than that, their fight makes it clear how little John respects Judith – rather than taking her accusations seriously, he asks her whether she’s drinking (which he has, with Robbie and Gillian). Outraged, Judith reveals the other thing that she knows because John told her, that John and Gillian have had sex, and while both deny it, eventually John tells the truth, even if it’s for all the wrong reasons. 

John: You’re clearly not good for her. So why don’t you clear off. You’ve made her life a living hell in the past. Trying to get her arrested when she was her most vulnerable. Yes, I know all about it. And now you prey on her, because you know how generous, good and kind-hearted she is. 

Robbie: Prey on her? 

John: Yeah, well, get lost. She doesn’t need you. She doesn’t want you. She rang me to come over and help because she was at the end of her tether will everything. With all of you. And especially with you. 

Robbie: Is this true? 

Gillian: Some of it. Partially.

It’s hard to admit that John is making a valid point here, because Robbie has made Gillian’s life a living hell for ten years, and it’s hard to believe his recent complete change of heart, or her willingness to forgive him. Gillian doesn’t openly admit that she’s slept with John, but her reaction is enough to make Robbie realize it’s true, and it earns John a black eye. 

In the end, everybody is hurt. Robbie leaves, John gets thrown out of the house by Gillian – but the bad news that one of Alan’s oldest friends has died gives Gillian an opportunity to apologize both to her dad and Celia for her behaviour, even if it’s just a small moment of reconciliation, and later, at the wake, Alan decides to seize the day and proposes that Celia and he get married again, this time with a massive ceremony and all the people that they know. 

While the drama and secrets unfold at the dinner table in Halifax, Caroline takes Kate to a picturesque and romantic hotel, but things start to go awry the moment she checks in, because it turns out that she’s booked two separate rooms for them, and Caroline doesn’t even realize how upset Kate is until she spells it out for her – that it feels sad, embarrassed, old-fashioned and ridiculous, having to sneak around, that one of the reasons why she was so delighted about the holiday was “because it was like for the first time you were happy to acknowledge outside the house that I was your partner”, that, if she had been the one to book the rooms, “the whole point would have been that I got to spend two whole days and nights in the same room as you. That would have been the single-biggest thing that would made me book it in the first place. But obviously for you, that wasn’t a thing.” And the thing is that Kate knows that Caroline thinks she needs to keep a low profile, as someone that people in the region may recognize (presumably to a certain extent she is a public figure as the headmistress of a high-profile school), and has been supportive, but it’s also hard to live with the fact that the person that she loves so much, that she’d do anything for, doesn’t have the courage to be brave for her in that way, as much as Caroline explains that she just panicked and had the intention of just booking one room.  Saying “we can still sleep together” doesn’t help, and Kate doesn’t accept “Because I’m me” as an excuse either, because Caroline has asked her to be patient and wait for her, and this tiny choice that Caroline made when she booked the rooms is now a symbol of everything that Kate feels is wrong with their relationship. It’s the kind of fight that could never possibly end well, because it’s not really about one specific thing, it’s about everything – and cut short by Greg arriving, which is really the worst thing that could happen, because it means that all the unsaid things just hang in the air between them while Kate and Greg exchange an endless amount of anecdotes from their shared history, leaving Caroline completely out of the conversation, while the sky behind them goes from light to dark. So Caroline is fuming, and isolated, and has what seems like hours to get angrier and angrier (likely making up conversations up in her mind, collecting all the little things she could say in return, as you do in that situation), and once Greg leaves for a moment, suggesting they talk about the pregnancy once he gets back, she explodes (in that quiet Caroline way). 

Caroline: I’ll get to bed because I can’t stand anymore of this bloke’s self-obsessed drivel. 

Kate: Okay. 

Caroline: I’m sure neither of you will mind whether I’m here or not? Thought not. Good night then. 

Kate: Good night.

It’s really hard to say if Greg is that unsympathetic or a jerk. Caroline knows that he shares a history with Kate, which she’ll never have (because that’s one of the hardest things of meeting someone, that you can never have met them earlier, that there’s always a part that will inevitably elude you). Presumably, hadn’t she been so utterly furious at Caroline, Kate would have made more of a point to make her feel included, and playing up this intimacy with Greg was one way of getting back at her and feeling a bit better – which is also understandable, but further reason why none of this can end well. 

I think when Kate comes downstairs the next morning to join Caroline for breakfast, she’d have been willing to talk about it reasonably, to try again, but now Caroline is so angry that any kind of conversation becomes impossible. They could still pick up the pieces and figure out what the issue is, but it’s far beyond that point. She came downstairs last night and didn’t find Kate in the restaurant, in the bar, in her room, because Kate was in Greg’s room for a nightcap (and this is significant too - it's always more difficult to get over yourself and try to mend things before it's too late, but sometimes just having a drink with someone that you laugh with is so much easier). 

And the thing is, from anyone’s perspective, there can be no doubt how much Kate loves Caroline, it’s in her eyes every time they’re in the same room together. But then, someone like Caroline wouldn’t just take the idea of her partner having sex with someone else in stride and see it as the pragmatic solution to a problem that it is meant to be, that Kate sees is as. I’m wondering if it would have made a difference if Greg hadn’t been so overwhelmingly loud, because I think Caroline expected someone else based on the assumptions that she’d make about who Kate would be friends with – but also Caroline’s reaction is to the whole situation that she hasn’t coped with yet, and it doesn’t really matter who Greg is, only that Kate is still close enough to him to fill hours with conversation, that he is someone that she trusts to that extent. 

Caroline: Look, alright, I’m sorry, I was a coward, I won’t be again, but I do have to say, for me, if we are going to be parents, this bloke is the wrong person. 

Kate: He’s perfect from my point of view. 

Caroline: I couldn’t go through with it, not with him. He’s… he’s a jerk. 

Kate: He’s one of my oldest friends. Whatever impression you got last night, he’s not a jerk. 

Caroline: I think I’m gonna have to give up on the idea of buying John out of the house. I think it’s unrealistic. It’d just be a burden. 

Kate: Right. I want to get pregnant, I want to have a child, I want to get on with. 

Caroline: Yeah, alright, fine…

Kate: I don’t need your blessing. Not anymore. Not after yesterday. And what you just said, about the house, you were doing it for all the wrong reasons anyway. You don’t want what’s best for me, you never did, you want what’s best for you, all the time. 

Caroline: Not true. I worry about how upset you’d be… 

Kate: You’re too… 

Caroline: If you got pregnant and then lost it again. 

Kate: You're too old to change. It’ll always be about you. Don’t worry about my bill. I’ll pay myself. 

Caroline: Are you dumping me? 

Kate: No. I don’t think so. I don’t think anything ever really started, did it? Couple of embarrassed fumbles. It’d just have been a bit of a odd mess , really. Which is a shame, because I’d have done absolutely anything for you. We didn’t do anything last night but that is still the plan. We’re both going to stay here tonight. 

Caroline: No, look, this was mean to be…

Kate: No, I know what it was meant to be, it was meant to be you and me, it was meant to be my birthday. I was so happy when we got here yesterday, but you blew it. You blew it before Greg even turned up, so don’t blame him. 

Caroline: This is hard for me. 

Kate: Well, grow up, think it’s easy for anyone? Only don’t bother, don’t grow up, not on my account.

I’m not sure which part hurts the most (both of them) – when Kate jumps on Caroline’s remark about the house, that she did it for all the wrong reasons (which she didn’t, but she did it for a lot of reasons, and maybe that’s already hurtful enough), or that last bit that is really just the meanness of frustration and sadness, the “embarrassed fumbles” (which is where Caroline starts to cry). It’s all of Kate’s built up frustration (and it’s this harsh because there’s no word about all the good things, all the reasons why she did wait and was patient). Like the fight between Alan and Gillian, it’s hard to see how any of this can ever be mended or taken back. A week later, Caroline tries to talk to her in a classroom, but Kate leaves, only sharing the news that she and Greg went through with it – “I finished what I came into this room to do. So now I’m leaving it.”

Random notes: 

Ugh ugh ugh (not that I have any doubt that Last Tango in Halifax will mend it, but seeing two people who care about each other so much do so much damage to each other in one conversation is horrible).

“What fresh hell is this?”

This season has a slightly odd way of mixing smaller dramatic storylines in with the greater narrative arcs – the sudden pregnancy revelation and birth, William being robbed and beaten up, Maurice's’ death – that I’m not quite sure what to make of yet. A little bit too much happened in this episode. 

The speech Alan gives Will about confidence is nice though, about gaining confidence by taking risks and “dealing with people that he’s not naturally drawn to”. He tells him that he’s going places while the others who make him feel like an outsider aren’t – which is always a nice sentiment, even if it’s not necessarily true. 

Lawrence and Angus actually do role-play Reservoir Dogs, and spend the next morning taunted by Alan, with a bucket between them. 

I wondered a bit at Caroline’s choice to tell Kate about Celia telling her she could call Alan “dad” if she wanted straight after Kate mentioned when Greg was coming – in a way, her reaction shows a certain reluctance to embrace the idea that families are a more fluent concept now (and also it was an example of Caroline instinctively changing the topic when she doesn’t feel comfortable, and still sort of making a point). Alan presumably at least makes a much better granddad, as seen in his scene comforting William, than Celia’s first husband did. 

John: Listen, I’m talking as someone whose relationship with his children has been really compromised by being married to a mad, manipulative lesbian. 

Raff: I thought it was because you had a fling with that… Judith. 

Ah bless Raff, calling John out on his misogynist homophobic bullshit in such a subtle way. 

John suggests Vita and Virginia as baby names. 

“So what is your novel about, John?”

John is the worst, and one of the things that I want to see happen now, or in the third season (it got renewed!!!) is Judith being really successful and John realizing he will never write an original story unless he gets over himself (because at some point in the past, he must have been likeable or talented enough for Caroline to think he'd make a good husband?)

Calamity Jane is going to stick now, “thanks to deaf granddad”.

John: I’ve made some coffee. 

Gillian: Well done.

Robbie’s rant about the inaccuracy of police procedurals is tongue-in-cheek, considering Sally Wainwright’s other job. 

Caroline explains she panicked in the face of an 18-year old who didn’t know how to spell… Elliott? Eliot? Eliott? Elliot? (as Kate points out, and it makes me feel better about actually having to look this up, the ls and the ts aren’t always obvious - It's Elliot)