Sunday 24 June 2007

even more random stuff

Yesterday night was spent with my dear friends, all of whom I have known for nearly all my life, especially if I take into consideration that my childhood ended with a rather brutal break that left a completely different person behind. We played ping pong and did Hiro-expressions whenever someone made a point (like this, while screaming "whoohooooo" at the top of our lungs). Then we watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy which was fun for me because Leisha Hailey was in it, playing a married straight woman (wacky fun) and the first episode of the "Gilmore Girls" which I hadn't seen before. Yes, most of my friends are fans of the big three (GA, GG and Desperate Housewives), so are most of the people I meet in University. Probably I should wear T-Shirts loudly proclaiming my taste in music and film as to attract other geeks rather than "normal people" (I've been trying to find a term describing non-geekyness and all I could come up with was "normal", lame, but I am open to other suggestions). Everytime I watch that show I come to the same conclusion: it attracts two different kinds of people. One kind watches for the nice feeling of family, the other for the references nobody else "but them" gets. The second kind tends to like the character of Lane (the actress is 33 now!) more than that of Rory (and is very much used to generally prefering the sidekick over the hero of a show, see "Buffy").
Then we saw the season six finale of the Gilmore Girls. I already did an entry on how I always seem to catch the same two or three episodes of shows I don't watch regularly: well, this time it occurred to me that I hadn't really seen all of this episode before, because all of a sudden I laughed and said: "hey, that's Kim Phillips and the PIXIES!" while everyone else just stared at me, as I tried to explain to them who the Pixies were ("Where is My Mind! That song that plays in the credits of "Fight Club", you know, when the towers explode?"). And then came the Sonic Youth Moment I mentioned last time, and one of my friends said: "does she always sing like that? That sounds so awful". Ouch. It is kind of difficult to explain to people how Sonic Youth are one of the most important bands of the past 20 years if they just don't like the music (I guess if you like to listen to James Blunt, Jack Johnson and John Mayer, you are unable to appreciate Sonic Youth. Your ears are anatomically unable to "get it").
Yet, I feel completely at ease with my friends. I can make them laugh, they give me the feeling of being loved, although we hardly share any interests at all. Other people intimitate me so easily, they don't. All because of a shared past.
In the distance, the fireworks of the Donauinselfest exploded, I remembered the tropical storm, went home, bought cigarettes and smoked while trying to figure out how to get through the next few weeks. But everything was kind of OK.
I was asked twice in the past week to explain a Dorian Gray reference, now I have to read the book again to make sure that I did a good job.
And yesterday I got to the end of Microsefs and suddenly realized what would happen to Dan's mom, and then I was so afraid to read on because I didn't know how I would react to that.

"And it was Karla who started us talking to Mom, Mom's eyes fishy, blank, lost and found, requiring an act of faith to presuppose vivid interior dimensions still intact. Karla who made me stare into these faraway eyes and say, Speak to her, Dan: she can hear you and how can you not look into these eyes that once loved you when you were a baby, and not tell her of your day. Talk to her, Dan: tell her ... today was a day like any other day. We worked. We coded. Our product is doing well, and isn't that just fine?"
I felt grateful because we are so past this phase. She is stroking my head and looking at me like she does believe that everything is going to be fine again. She surprised the doctors who thought she was lost. She is doing so well. I am so proud. Everything is so huge and bright and so much out of proportion, but that's fine, I think I can handle it.

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