In Love Forever - This is why I could never get over you.

In Love Forever: 1x02.

We pick up seamlessly where we left off in the previous episode. Runch’s mother has thrown a vase out of anger and frustration, and a shard cut Neen’s leg. It’s an escalation of their years of fighting that Kingkamol knows has crossed a line, and it is clear from how Runch removes her from the house – determined, quickly, without doing anything to reassure her that she understands that it was an accident – that makes it clear that this is a turning point. It’s clear from the face she makes right before leaving that it hasn’t made her change her mind about her approach to Neen, that all she is concerned about here is Runch’s reaction, not the harm she has actually done.
Inside, Neen seems stunned, shocked out of being able to even have a fight about what just happened. She just keeps saying “don’t” to Runch’s attempts to soothe her. The scene of Runch patching up the wound is so significant. It might be a placed advertisement, but it also fits into both the characters and the situation perfectly. Here’s Runch, meticulously running through all the steps of cleaning and disinfecting the wound, then applying a plaster with the words “sorry” on them, gently blowing on the wound like you would for a child. It shows her care and love, but beyond the physical act of applying a bandaid to a wound, symbolically, she is trying to patch up a gaping injury – that her mother is inflicting upon their marriage – with a bandaid and a sorry, and as such, nothing she does here could possibly be enough. She apologises on her mum’s behalf, but she must also know that her mother, given the opportunity, would never apologise for what she has done, and so it won’t change anything real about the dynamics of their relationship.
It’s also important to remember that Runch and Neen are not on the same page about each other because they don’t talk. Neen thinks that the only way that Runch would have ever asked for a divorce is if she didn’t love her anymore, while Runch has explained to her overseas friend that the opposite is true: she asked because she loves Neen so much that she wants to protect her from the harm that Kingkamol is causing her, specifically because she feels that the conflict is changing her wife, forcing her to become hardened and less innocent (and the episode will show just how much this is true). From Neen’s perspective, Runch’s clearly demonstrated love and care are confusing, because she is trying to create the emotional distance to grapple with the coming separation, but all these acts of love just remind her of why she fell in love with her in the first place – “You always act this way. This is why I could never get over you.”
At the same time, Runch is following Neen’s clear instructions. For the four months that they are forced to remain together, she will act like a devoted wife – except it isn’t an act, because that’s exactly what she is – and in addition, Neen requested that she be allowed to break her mother’s heart just once, which is what she will do her best to achieve in this episode. The prospect of at least exacting revenge against the woman who has destroyed her marriage is the one thing that really lights her up here, and it’s so easy to do with how reactive Kingkamol is to any suggestion that there are parts of her daughter she cannot control.

When I think about Runch in this episode overall, I’d argue that she is shown as much more proactive that in the previous one, and there is an interesting interplay between her home life and her life at work, like they are both feeding into each other in terms of how much agency she feels she has in both her relationship and her work life. It starts with a scene where a client on the verge of divorce explains the issues she is facing in her marriage, which perfectly mirror Neen’s situation in their marriage. Her partner prioritises his parents, he doesn’t financially contribute, he is not making an effort. Runch empathises, but I think the interesting part of the conversation is that this client seems to have run out of love completely: there are no positive things that she says about the relationship, she is at the end of her tethers and there is no more love left to fix the situation, only pragmatic considerations of the splitting of assets. Runch takes it to heart and empathises with the client the same way that she is grappling with Neen’s struggle, but I think what she doesn’t take into account is exactly the confused, messy feelings that Neen has: the fact that Neen still loves her so much, has never fallen out of love with her, is just trying to make herself emotionally invulnerable by becoming distant and making herself not think about the reasons why she fell in love in the first place. Runch sees the parallels between the client and Neen because her wife is deliberately trying to hide her love. Then, the entire episode proceeds to test her ability to do so.

Let’s talk about Runch at work first. It was clear in the previous episode, with Att trying to rile up the entire office against her with his smear campaign, that this has been going on for a while and she has tried to just ignore it and work through it instead of confronting the issue head-on. When he sneakily asks her to finance their night out, expecting her to stay at home as she usually does (significantly, she says she has never previously attended any of their office parties), she decides to tag along because she knows that given the chance of a night without the boss, he will continue to slag her off in front of all the colleagues, creating more drama.
Att knows exactly how to get under her skin. First he gets her drunk on cheap liquor, goading her by saying that she is used to the expensive stuff now (it’s funny that we know from the previous episode that she can’t tolerate expensive wines either). Then he keeps needling her about her marriage, about her wife buying her fancy house, about “living off of her”, as Runch gets progressively less able to hold back her anger. She snaps back at him eventually: “So you’re jealous of me for having a beautiful, rich wife who loves and cares about me? Unlike me, you’re just a loser. You only landed your job thanks to your sugar mommy. And you’re not even good at your job. All you do is kiss ass.” She says that he is bad at his job, all bark, no bite, holds the department back because all he does is gossip-monger. And then he hits her with a sentence she can’t tolerate: “Your wife, someone that rich, would never love anyone. You’re just a trophy wife.” It’s an attack on Neen, rather than herself. It devalues her. It enrages her enough to punch him in the face, and Neen comes in – after the secretary called her to pick up her wife, which she does, not even hesitating, never even considering leaving Runch to herself – just as he seems to be ready to punch her back. This would be the first time she has seen Runch’s true situation at work, because she has never disabused her of the notion that she is admired everywhere, that all the other spheres of her life are working out perfectly, and she walks right into it as it escalates into violence. Neen threatens to have her uncle fire Att – which does in a way play into his arguments about Runch’s position, that she is where she is because Neen is the niece of the CEO – but it also makes it clear that she is protective of Runch in spite of everything that is happening.

Runch at the most drunk she’s ever been is quite glorious to behold. With all of her careful boundaries removed, she’s not holding back anything, and what she shares once Neen gets her home is more than she has ever said about her struggles. It’s like a flood: “This happens with everything. People blame everything on the fact that I married someone rich”. And it’s almost like in this moment Neen comes to the same conclusion that Runch did, when she decided to divorce her: that something about the marriage is damaging her partner whom she loves, and so they should get divorced to protect each other. She voices is much more harshly: “So us dating and getting married took away your pride, right? Then we should divorce as soon as possible. That way, you’ll get to live a life you’re proud of.”, but this is still Neen, for the first time I think, agreeing that divorce would be a good idea instead of just going along with what Runch suggested out of hurt. It’s also deeply frustrating, because if they did talk to each other more, they could probably find a solution that wouldn’t require them to divorce, but they are both so exhausted and tired that it has become impossible to fight for their marriage. Runch passes out dramatically at the bottom of the stairs and the next scene, hilariously, has her in bed, being as gently tended to as we’ve seen her, by her wife, who is once again using the time-tested method of rubbing down a drunk person with a wet towel. It’s like the gentleness in the act of care is making Runch giddy enough to share all the gossip she has about Att that she’s been holding on to out of propriety, even though it would have given her so much valuable munition to fight back against him. Basically, all the accusations he has made against her only getting her position because of Neen are actually true about him: he had an affair with an older woman who guaranteed his job. The scandalised, exuberant way in which Runch shares that she saw them endears her so much to Neen, who probably hasn’t seen her wife in a state close to happiness in a few months.

Runch: I’m not drunk. Maybe a little, but I’m not so drunk that I’ve lost control. It’s just that I have less patience than usual. I was surprised though, I was.
Neen: It’s good though.
Runch: Really? You want me to have no patience, Neen?
Neen: We’ll it’s because you’re very patient that we’ve ended up like this.

Is this the closest they have come to actually talking about their relationship? And it’s the gentlest, most favourable interpretation we’ve seen Neen give of Runch’s behaviour: not inactive, not indecisive, not weak, but patient. It’s enough of an opening that Runch detects that she puppy-eyes her way into being allowed to share a bed, which they haven’t done since they announced their intention to divorce. It becomes clear very quickly why they had to sleep in separate beds and just how starved for touch they both are. Runch tries to hold Neen and Neen pushes her off, puts a bolster between them (which Runch, hilariously, ends up holding just to have something to hug), but in the middle of the night, maybe half-sobered up now, Runch spoons Neen and Neen gives in with very little reluctance. It shows their dynamic, and is exactly what Kingkamol fears the most: they want each other so much, and Runch is perfectly happy to give Neen all the control here (it’s an interesting contrast to her dream in the first episode, where she was so eager to feel in control of any part of her life), for Neen to take exactly what she wants.
Their intimate scenes and how they are with each other reveals so much about their characters here. Runch, with all of her self-control, quietness, inability to express her feelings, seems to gain all her confidence from having slept with her wife. There are a few moments in this episode where sex seems to short-circuit her brain (Neen calls her “pervy” the next morning when she flirts, struggling to compartmentalise what happened with her attempts to forget how much she loves Runch, Runch makes it clear in their conversation about how they will handle this going forward – basically they’ll hook up if there’s mutual consent – that she is always ready for a booty call), where she should be worrying about her mother, but gets entirely distracted and caught up in Neen, confirming her mother’s worst fears about how much she is Neen’s, not Kingkamol’s. Runch also very strategically calls out Neen for “initiating last night”, like she wants to remind her that Neen was the one who wanted her. It’s playful, but it’s also a very interesting dynamic in light of how insecure Runch usually seems in all spheres of her life: here she has found confidence, and she takes it right back to the office, reasserting herself against Att. She tells everyone in the room that they should talk to her directly if they have issues instead of gossiping behind her back like they’re at a wet market, but the remark is clearly directed at Att (as is “be a man”, which I’m sure would gnaw at him considering the shape of his grievance), as is her threat that gossiping harder than working will have consequences going forward, that whoever is dragging down the team will be in trouble.

All of these moments are the context for how the rest of the episode unfolds. Their relationship seems better than it did at any stage in the previous episode. Runch feels more confident, Neen is fired up. It’s the most interesting configuration to go into a day with Kingkamol with. Runch’s mum calls because her husband is out of town and she wants her daughter to sleep over, clearly just something she uses to demonstrate that her daughter is constantly at her beck and call. Runch just assumes that Neen will stay home because they’ll end up fighting, but instead Neen sees this as a perfect opportunity for the most calculated, precise revenge – perhaps over the top, but at the same time perfectly couched in exactly the kind of filial devotion that Kingkamol wants from a perfect daughter-in-law. What’s in the container that Neen ordered before going over to her mother-in-law? Don’t worry about it Runch, you’ll find out soon enough.

Let’s go through it point by point. First, there’s Neen deliberately taking off her jumper to reveal her outfit – Runch suggests she might get cold but Neen knows what she’s doing, because she knows that nothing enrages Kingkamol more than the idea that Neen dresses up like this because her daughter likes it. Then there’s Neen’s claim she’s preparing dinner for the old lady so she doesn’t starve to death, such an obvious way of mocking her played-out dependence on her daughter: I’m pretty sure she lets the frogs escape deliberately, and absolutely revels in the chaos and destruction that this causes, the screaming, the horror (they’re such photogenic frogs as well, and so big). Then she explains exactly why she was planning to cook the dish: it’s good food for very very old and frail people, perhaps even keeping them from dying too soon (all of this while Runch holds the smelling salts under her mum’s nose and occasionally takes a hit herself). Then she saunters off with a suggestive “come up after dinner to get your dessert” to Runch, maximum damage achieved. It’s masterful.
We’ve seen Runch’s attempts to try and mediate between her wife and her mother, gently scolding them when they go over the top, which is the source of Neen’s frustration (she’s not the one who started it, she feels she gets scolded more because filial piety keeps Runch from really shutting her mother down). But here, Runch reacts completely differently from last episode, like their intimacy has short-circuited her brain. She doesn’t even get around to reprimand Neen for her antics before Neen spots another opportunity: a shadow under the door, a rattling door knob, gives away that Kingkamol is inappropriately listening at her daughter’s door, presumably because she wanted to witness Neen getting scolded, but now unintentionally getting a first-row seat to something else entirely. It’s like Neen knows precisely that there is nothing worse Kingkamol can imagine than her daughter having passionate sex with her wife instead of being angry at her for what she did to her (“I’m trying to make her go deaf from my voice”). At first it’s all over-dramatic acting, but then it becomes real because Runch is Runch (“But now you’re asking for trouble, you know that, right?”) and Neen is so fired up from finally getting to take revenge to the fullest extent.

I really like how the little scenes of them falling in love with each other work as codas to the episode instead of interrupting the flow of the story: if it continues, it will begin to contrast to the state of their marriage now in more and more painful ways. Here, in an episode where they are closer to each other than in the first one, they just reconfirm what seems obvious from the episode: that they feel in love deeply very quickly, once they met, and that they were drawn to each other from the starts. The flashback picks up from Runch returning the shirt she borrowed when they met, at a cafe date. Neen seems determines to makes it clear how interested she is: she’s so flirty, so direct, while Runch is still shy, but brave enough here to ask her out for dinner. They still don’t know each other at all, and the scene captures the moment so perfectly where they hone in on how exactly they are interested in each other (Neen doesn’t know if Runch is gay, Runch doesn’t know if Neen is interested even though it’s so crystal clear). Runch tells Neen she can call her whatever she wants and Neen calls her “phi sao khun suay” (beautiful older sister, basically), making her interest clear. “I really like pretty girls” / “I’m glad to hear that” is all it takes. And then there’s a montage of them falling in love: all the messages and the smiles they elicit, becoming part of each other’s lives, sending messages first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Runch seems more happy and carefree here than we’ve ever seen her, like she’s walking on clouds. It doesn’t just tell us how they fell in love, it also makes the stakes clear: so many other romance shows and films end with the marriage, like it’s a happy ending forever, but here, the happiness has to be fought for every day, and maybe sometimes it’s not enough. 


Random notes:

Runch’s anxiety about Neen’s money is entirely fed by her mother and Att here. There is no indication that Neen resents her for not being able to contribute as much, or for having to provide all the luxuries of their lives, but the complains of the client she sees in the office feed into that anxiety even more, like they make her think Neen is just hiding her frustration about it from her.

This is also a whole episode of confirmation that LingOrm need a comedy next. Runch’s puppy face when she had to reconfirm several times that she was allowed to share a bed and almost being kicked out because she asked. The fact that Neen folded when Runch was at her most pathetically cute (but also when she was finally opening up I guess). The entire sequence with the frogs and Neen’s exuberance about fucking with her mother-in-law. It’s only going to get sad and depressing from her on out so it’s good to have something to hold on to.

The contrast between Runch and Neen’s work environment is clear when Runch delivers lunch to her wife’s office (Kwong Kee, lol): instead of the malicious gossip in Runch’s workplace, the workers assemble to gaze at the happy couple through the window, clearly smitten, before scurrying away. Runch teases that “there are many more things we can do make it look like we really love each other” and Neen teases back that they should do them all, but when does the performance of love and care become the real thing, especially with these two never openly acknowledging that they still love each other (for one, if you pay attention, they never say it! Not even at any point during the previous night).

Runch’s dad hearing all about what happened once he returns from his retreat (it is suggested he needs a lot of retreats because he is married to Kingkamol) is hilarious: she re-enacts, she complains, she’s called out for deliberately listening, which is so weird. He also gives a heart-felt speech about Runch having her own life, about her being allowed to choose whom she loves, about them having to support her in her choices, that goes completely over Kingkamol’s head, who seems, if anything, double-convinced now that she has to eliminate Neen at all costs (and it feels like what she will get up to next is actually honed perfectly to hurt Neen).

Lols also at Neen’s friends reaction to her proud retelling of the story. “I told her to get along with her, not get it on with her”. She’s so, so proud of herself.