In Love Forever - Table of Contents

Season One: 

 

Episode One 

Episode Two

Episode Three

Episode Four

Episode Five

Episode Six

Episode Seven

Episode Eight

Episode Nine

Episode Ten

Episode Eleven

Episode Twelve

In Love Forever - I’m doing it because my heart chooses you.

In Love Forever: 1x12.

 

There’s something about the structure of this final episode of In Love Forever that really tickles me, that is so brilliantly constructed. We’ve spent eleven episodes watching Runch and Neen attempting to save their marriage until finally conceding that it was over, but now that they have reached the end of it, there is no acrimony, no shouting and screaming, no conflict at all, just sadness. At the same time, there is so much care, so much deliberateness in creating an ending for themselves that has meaning, that conveys all the things that haven’t been lost: most of all, they still love each other, they do not regret that they have gotten married and have spent that time together, they talk about it fondly. “You have me hope”. “Thank you for loving me so much that I felt like I matter. I never imagined I could mean so much to someone”. None of those words sound like things that you would normally hear from characters that are finalising a divorce, that are saying goodbye and wrapping up a life lived together, beginning a life lived alone. You can hear the tears in their voices even before they begin to fall. It’s deeply sentimental – even going back to the place where they first started, the cafe where Runch spilled her coffee and Neen lent her shirt – shows that this is an exercise in memorising their relationship for its meaning, the deep impact it has had on both of them. They are still the best part of each other’s lives and yet, the scene ends with Neen walking away, sobbing, with Runch pondering the engagement ring that Neen has returned to her, and a two-year period of time where they don’t see each other.

I think about Runch and Neen, unobserved in those two years, living their separate lives and changing in the process, and the process of reconstructing exactly how they have changed from how they appear after. There are hints about what happened: Later Neen will talk about the way that her empty days passed, getting up in the morning, going to work, going to sleep, rinse and repeat. Runch talks about her struggles in France, pursuing her degree, supported by her only friend Natee: the loneliness of a new country and the difficult course. Between the two, Runch has changed more: she hasn’t just lost Neen, but also severed the other major relationship in her life. This new version of Runch is the one she has built without the influence of her mother, with all of her choices being her own, just two years of becoming a person without being pushed towards any particular achievement or version of her life by Kingkamol. This is a version of Runch that no longer lives in a state of constant conflict, of being pulled in two opposite directions at all times while struggling with a work life that she isn’t even sure she really ever wanted in the first place: if there is ambition and drive, it’s her own, for herself, to become who she wants to be. There’s something glorious in seeing that change, a new assertiveness and certainty, a clear sense of happiness – but all of this, dampened by the unchangeable fact that she is still very much in love with Neen. When she is sitting at the Toulouse cafe with Natee, pondering an insta post of Neen with a famous actress, Natee goading her into speculating if Neen is dating someone, they both know already before she admits to it that Runch isn’t even considering dating someone new, or falling for someone else. It’s been two years, but her feelings for Neen hasn’t changed at all, and it’s like Natee already knows that they’ll find their way back to each other, just like Neen’s brother – teasing her about the actress, also knowing fully well she has no intentions or capacity to date her – knows she is still in love with her ex-wife. It feels like a true test of their feelings for each other – they haven’t paled at all during the separations, during their very different lives. The best that Runch’s friend and Neen’s brother can hope for, for the people they love, is that they manage to reunite.

Back in Bangkok for a month with the intention to finish her degree in France within the year, Runch meets up with her father – who tells her, happily and maybe also very intentionally, that he hast just run into Neen who still calls him “dad”, like no time has passed at all. It’s good to see that Runch still has a relationship with her father while apparently having cut off her mother completely to the extent that she knows nothing about her life except what he tells her. It’s a satisfying ending for Kingkamol, and one that Neen’s father predicted. Instead of having to go through the courts to get satisfaction, karma has indeed caught up with her. After getting scammed out of all her money, Runch’s parents have had to build a simpler life, and she has calmed down, and in spite of the struggles, Runch has not saved them financially from ruin, as Kingkamol expected from her daughter. With all of her class anxiety and fears of how Runch would measure up against Neen’s family’s wealth, she ended up being the one losing everything through carelessness and not expecting others to act as duplicitous as she has, gambling away every chance given to her to save herself.

How do we feel about the full-circle moment of Runch returning to the coffee shop – a place that must be filled with so many warring emotions for her, good and bad, deeply sentimental, deeply nostalgic, but also painful – and running into Neen there as if by accident? Did Neen follow her there? Has Neen been going there regularly, hoping to run into her (I think it’s implied that she doesn’t know Runch went overseas) or just reliving her feelings, her memories? Is it just a coincidence, fate? Whatever the right answer is, it doesn’t feel like either of them is genuinely surprised by it, like they both expected it would happen eventually, the same way that everyone in their lives is already guessing that they will eventually end up back together, since neither of them has moved on. This whole scene is a display of how much Runch has changed, like they almost switched places from their first meeting, when Runch was so timid and shy and overwhelmed: here she is assertive, knows exactly what she wants to happen, and seems to be fairly certain that going home with Neen at the end of it is a foregone conclusion. She doesn’t hold back – she starts the conversation by saying that she has missed her, she says, straight up, that she wants to come home to her place, to spend the night with her (“Can I?”). Neen is maybe surprised, because this is a new version of Runch, but she doesn’t seem exactly hesitant – it’s almost like they’ve both just been waiting for that moment, like there’s an inevitability to it almost.

There are all these little moments where, as much as their intimacy comes easy and their attraction to each other is so obvious, there are also hints that Runch is being very deliberate in showing that she has changed, because she knows that if this is going to work out, they have to start differently than they did last time. Where they used to fall into back with each other whenever there was any difficulty to overcome instead of discussing it, she suggests that they sit down and talk first (I doubt they would have gone to sleep in different rooms even if Runch hadn’t suggested a conversation first, with Neen just trying to keep up the pretence that she’s setting boundaries but not being very serious about enforcing them). All the things that Runch reveals here are loaded with subtext and meaning. When she says that she wants to return to Thailand after she finishes her degree, she’s saying that she will return to whatever relationship they are building here, that there are long-term prospects beyond the night they’re spending together. When she talks about her now severed relationship with Kingkamol, she’s revealing that the biggest obstacle to their happiness is gone now, and also that she has found the strength to do something she’s struggled so much with during their marriage. When Neen asks her if moving to France has been hard, she gives an honest answer about her struggles instead of pretending that everything is okay, like she used to, sharing her difficulties instead of bearing them alone. Every sentence serves to reassure Neen about how serious she is, and it’s only then that Neen responds to Runch’s “I missed you” with “I really missed you too”. Runch is deliberately building a foundation before she leans in to kiss Neen.

The morning after, it’s like Neen is waking up to a dream, with Runch next to her. She reaches out and almost touches her to make sure she’s real before stopping herself and collecting herself to go to work, maybe steeling herself to not concede too much too early. But Runch doesn’t let her build up any barriers, she’s already asking to marry her again after just this one night, like no time has passed at all, and there’s such a seductiveness to their easy intimacy with each other, picking up right where they left off without any awkwardness.

Runch: I didn’t tell you last night, that I still love you. I never stopped loving you. I’ve always loved you just the same.

They spend the rest of the month in their shared house which Neen’s dad conveniently hasn’t sold yet, holed up in bed together, deciding to date each other again for now. Then Runch returns to France and Neen flies back and forth every month, eventually acting suspicious enough for her friends to pick up on the fact that her new girlfriend is her old wife. This period spent together is like a reversal of how they used to date before: almost in defiance of the burden that Kingkamol put on them who was always hanging like a dark cloud over them, with the flashbacks always containing a little kernel of doubt and hesitation, of things unsaid even in their happiest moments. They are building a relationship without these burdens, these interruptions, and three years after their divorce, when Runch has returned to Thailand to work as a professor (including the obligatory professor glasses that are arguably pure fanservice), Neen has changed too: into a softer version of herself, allowing herself to indulge Runch in ways that she didn’t when it was Kingkamol who was trying to force her into her image of a good daughter-in-law. Neen now cooks for Runch purely out of enjoyment to see her savour something she’s prepared for her, not to find into a preconceived mould. It’s like they were both trapped in the image that Kingkamol wanted for them before, Runch as the devoted daughter and Neen fighting back so furiously that it didn’t even leave her the space to think about what kind of wife she wanted to be to Runch, and now they both have the freedom to be what they want to each other.

Runch: I thought marriage was about getting people to accept us. But once we lost everything, only then did I realise it has nothing to do with anyone. This time, I don’t want to prove anything to anyone, or explain anything. I just want to ask you, since you’re a woman who’s learned quite a bit about love, will you marry me again?
This time, it’s not to prove anything to anyone. I’m doing it because my heart chooses you. I promise to love you and care about your feelings. I will be faithful. And I promise to stay right by your side through tick and thin. I love you, Neen. You’re the only one I love. Forever.

Neen: I love you too. You’re the only one I love. Forever.

This final episode fulfils the promise of the English title completely. Through these episodes, we’ve watched this relationship being torn apart by a malicious outside influence, where it had to fail in spite of the fact that their feelings for each other never wavered – and now they’ve rebuilt that relationship stronger, getting a second shot at it. In the end, it’s just the two of them – with the addition of a dog – a family of three, starting their relationship the way they always wanted, taking care of each other. 

Random notes:

Kind of loved and giggled a bit at the barista picking up right where she left off, shamelessly flirting with Runch (calling her a phi sao khun suay even!)in spite of still thinking she’s married (and having gotten an impressive display of Neen’s jealousy previously), just shooting her shot and who can blame her, respect the hustle.

I like that there are no other characters for the entirety of the reunion arc: it’s just Runch and Neen, finding each other again, rebuilding without any outside influences. 

Posted without further comment: “More than kissing is okay”, “Take the glasses off first, they’re in the way”, “I’m the best dessert”. Thank you, P’Jaew. 

In Love Forever - You caused all this.

In Love Forever: 1x11.

There are some things that happen in this episode that make me want to write about the genre in general, beyond the scope of just In Love Forever: what it means to only have twelve episodes (still, better than just eight!) to tell a full story, the kind of pressure on pacing that brings, the inherent tendency of Thai GLs to pack new story-lines into the final few episodes that feel like an internal logic that is hard to follow for people not raised on Thai lakorns (or in my case, any kind of soap-operas). But first, I want to go back to what this episode does achieve, which I think gets a bit muddled and covered up by the 20-minute-kidnapping plot that feels like an awkwardly positioned line-break. There’s this bit of dialogue in the confrontation between Runch and her mother at the beginning of the episode, when Kingkamol has found out from her friend that there are rumours about her daughter’s divorce, but instead of returning home, Runch has stayed alone in the house, already making it clear that this will not be the outcome that Kingkamol desired from the beginning. Runch explains the emotional devastation of having lost Neen, and what it means to her that her mother has made her lose the most important person in her life. Kingkamol counters furiously that this should make Runch understand what it meant for her to lose her daughter. On the surface, it’s a cogent argument, but it falls apart as soon as anyone investigates it further: for one, there was no reason for Kingkamol to lose her daughter through the marriage. After all, Neen’s mother hasn’t lost anything – from her perspective, she’s gained a second daughter, not lost her only one. It was Kingkamol’s decision to turn this into a zero-sum game, to turn this into a conflict where Runch had to choose between Neen and her mother. The whole idea that the core conflict of the show is Runch having to choose between her mother and her wife is false and only enforced by Kingkamol, but the idea of it goes so deep that even Neen used it as an argument when she explained to Runch why she was asking for divorce. “You can go back to being a daughter now”, disregarding all the work that Runch has been doing to really understand the nature of her mother’s attachment to her and what it has done to her life. Runch understands now that the choice has never been between her mother and her wife, but between Kingkamol and being able to live her own life, find her own happiness, to be her own person. This is how what should be Kingkamol’s great moment of triumph - finding out that her daughter is getting divorced, with her friend surprised that Runch hasn’t moved back home already – turns so sour for her. Instead of leading to a reunion, it just enforces Runch’s determination to lead her own life, especially when Kingkamol continues to refuse to see what she had done to Neen and to Runch, continues not to take responsibility for her actions, even says she would have done more violence given the opportunity to punish Neen. Instead of bringing her daughter back to her, it makes her say the final, to Kingkamol incomprehensible words: “If you keep acting like this, you won’t get a single dime from me. We’ll go our separate ways. I don’t even want to know if you’re sick or on your deathbed.” It’s a threat that goes beyond what she’s said before, when she promised to continue to financially support Kingkamol as tribute to her devotion to her, when she said that they would only speak when things were truly serious. It’s a complete severing of their relationship. Functionally, Runch is saying that Kingkamol would cease being her mother.

I think the reason for the kidnapping plot is that this step to a complete separation between mother and daughter is culturally so taboo and unthinkable that it requires another unforgivable act from Kingkamol, one that is so irrational, so unfathomable, that it makes Runch’s decision culturally legible. It’s not enough that she insulted Neen, tried to find a new wife for her daughter while she was still married, attacked her in broad daylight, threatened more physical violence. Here she contacts Att, who has realised that the consequences of messing with Neen’s family are more severe than he thought – he’s basically been blacklisted and unable to find work – and contracts a kidnapping from him. It’s a reversal of their previous relationship, where Att fully manipulated and profited from Kingkamol’s break-down: here she is using the only pawn still in play for her to do something horrible to Neen, something that is sure to leave psychological scars, and something that, above all, could have gone fatally wrong if Att did anything competently. The episode doesn’t spell it out explicitly (I think the kidnapping plot would have more bite if it did) but if you think about it, from the moment that Neen recognises him (unfortunately this has been cut from the episode, but it’s clear she has when he takes off his mask, which has lost its use), there is no way that Att can allow her to leave the situation alive, because the 30 million will be of no use to him if she can identify him after. Additionally, the show has made it clear that Att is driven by completely irrational jealousy and wants revenge, two motives that, combined with the gun he brings along with him, hint that there was an outcome here that Runch only narrowly avoided when she hit him with the branch (Orm said: an appearance of p’tawan, not P’Tawan) just before the police arrived.

But, let’s go back to before the kidnapping plot, to the emotional centre of the episode. I think it’s interesting that Runch is, for the most part, alone in her processing of the divorce. She doesn’t have friends around to support her, her mother is obviously of no use, she doesn’t appear to be speaking to her own father about it. She is alone in the house they used to share and the ghosts of their relationship are everywhere to haunt her and torment her, all those shared memories that live in her bones. Still, Neen, surrounded by her family and friends, feels more alone and isolated in this episode than Runch. It’s not just the divorce itself that she is struggling with but it seems that her mind is caught up in a loop where she is questioning everything about their time together, voicing that she feels like Runch was never happy in the marriage, that she has always sacrificed herself, that she has suffered because of her, as if she’s internalised all the things that Kingkamol has said. When she goes to the beach – where so many of their happy memories happened – and remembers the past, it feels like she gets caught up in all those small hints of trouble that always coloured the coda scenes in a slightly different light: Runch talking about her struggles, asking her to be there for her difficult days. “Sometimes disappearing is the only way for the one you love to be truly happy”, her deeply concerning insta post, summarises it, but it is also the opposite of everything that Runch has ever verbalised about her feelings for Neen, it’s just that Neen in this mental state can no longer imagine how important she is to her. Runch comes to find her as she’s wading into the ocean fully clothed and draws her own conclusions.

Runch: Why are you hurting yourself?
What are you talking about. I’m not hurting myself. I just wanted to be in the water where it’s quiet. Neen: So my heart could take a break. I want to forget everything for a little while to quiet my mind.

Twice Runch shows up in this episode to save Neen, proving how much she cares, being the first to arrive at the scene. The second time, she puts herself between the gun and Neen. The sadness of the episode, and the show, is that the only thing she salvages through her actions are Neen’s feelings about the marriage: making it clear that she has no regret, that would marry her again, that she would still choose her, that she will always love her, none of which changes Neen’s decision about the divorce. It just means that they are divorcing with their happy shared memories intact, untouched by all that has happened, because they are theirs: it’s the one thing Kingkamol can’t take away from them.

Random notes:

A coda that provides a third time that Runch saves Neen, this time by patching up another cut with the precision and focus of a surgeon, saying “if something were to happen to you, I wouldn’t be able to go on”. The scene captures their dynamic, Neen’s played up whininess to get exactly the kind of loving care she wants from Runch, and how happy Runch is to give it, even if it is just a little cut. How long until they find their way back to one another?

How do we feel about Kingkamol’s punishment coming through karma, not the legal system? I think the greatest punishment for her is the certainty that her actions after Runch threatened to cut off contact completely mean that she’s lost her daughter – and even her husband is saying to her he’d like to see her go to jail to straighten her out. The immediacy of the scam phone call is very convenient (after all, I feel like we live in a world where there’s very little karma for the most destructive people, but sometimes it’s nice to live in a dream for a bit).

I hope this is the last we’ll see of the utter and complete loser that Att is. After all that, truly only good at gossiping. 

In Love Forever - It was like a dream.

In Love Forever: 1x10.

I think that even if you hadn’t read the book, you would have seen the outcome of this devastating episode coming, felt the inevitability of the ending, but what a way to get there! How much sadder, how much more soul-destroying, that Neen’s decision here is not the result of fighting, of growing apart, of all the obvious ways in which a relationship can fall apart over time. Instead, it’s the realisation that love is not enough in the face of the obstacle that Kingkamol poses. She will not stop, and no matter how much Runch loves Neen, how many times she chooses her, she cannot protect her from her own mother, who has shown herself capable of vicious violence in her attempts to claw back control over her daughter.

After Runch drops off her mother at her house, furious, reminding her that the only thing that used to keep her safe from Neen’s family’s influence was Runch’s protection, which she has now withdrawn, and drives Neen to her parents’ house, they are both left on their own to consider what will happen next. The difference is that Neen falls back into the safe and supportive nest of her parents and brother, while Runch returns to an empty house, with nobody to share her burden with, left to wait for whatever Neen decides, and I think, deep down, already expecting the worst. It’s all in how different Neen’s reaction is this time: where she used to be furious and loud whenever facing Kingkamol’s insults, she is now quiet, hurt in a way where she can’t even look at Runch anymore, who may have done all she could to protect her but still couldn’t prevent any of this. She asks her family not to blame Runch but even her mother finds it hard at this stage not to: they brought up their daughter with love and care, and her marriage to Runch has caused this harm. They entrusted her safety to Runch, but Kingkamol attacked her in a public place. The marks are still visible on her face and arm, the shock of the sudden attack has shaken her to the core, and her father is urging her to divorce because it’s the only way he can think to protect her. Her brother is trying to suppress the footage of the incident but doesn’t know yet that it was Att who has set everything in motion, creating a scandal to tarnish Runch.

The first half of the episode is Neen working through her feelings, her pain and hurt: she talks to her parents and her brother, she tries to explain to her mother what she is going through, but I think ultimately, she has already made up her mind and she is just coming to terms with that decision. She tells her mother that the last weeks with Runch, when they made up, when they decided not to divorce, felt like a dream, like when they were newly married, but she has now realised that it was just a dream, a reprieve from reality that inevitably had to end. Meanwhile Runch sits at home and waits for a phone call or a message, hopes that things can still be fixed but suspects they can’t, trapped in complete loneliness and isolation in that big house, robbed of all agency by the actions of her mother who was “hurting someone and called it love”.

Runch: I can’t eat. I miss you too much. I want you to come home.
Neen: Please give me some time, Runch.
Runch: Okay, I understand. I can wait. No matter how long it’ll take, I’ll wait for you.

Neen is replaying their happy memories in her head – you could imagine, if you wanted to, that the reel in her head would look similar to the post-credit scenes we’ve witnessed throughout the show, all of their happiness with none of the sadness mixed in that always came from outside influences. She tells her father that she wants to hold off on a lawsuit against Kingkamol for now because any outcome would ultimately hurt Runch the most: seeing her mother convicted, being seen as a bad daughter again in the public eye. When she is ready in her head, when she has already made her decision, she says “I don’t want her last memory of us to be me suing her mother”. She says that she thinks that Runch is miserable with her but what I reminded myself of is that Neen never witnessed the conversation Runch had with her mother when she made it clear that they would only see each other in case of illness or death: I don’t think Neen knows how firmly Runch has chosen her, that all the worries that Neen has about Runch feeling like a bad daughter for choosing her don’t take into account that Runch has already made that decision for herself and was willing to stick with it. Even now, Neen underestimates how much Runch loves her, and even now, they are making decisions for each other without talking them through with each other, making assumptions instead of seeking clarity. It’s brave and selfless of Neen to try and protect Runch in that way, but even later, in the most devastating scene of the episode, she tells Runch to go back to being a daughter to her mother and misunderstands that Runch needs to break from that relationship not just to save her marriage, but for herself and her own happiness. I think to an extent that’s unthinkable for Neen, who was raised with so much love and support and care, and it’s very tragic misunderstanding right in the centre of their relationship.

And there’s also the contrast of Neen saying that she believes “it may be rough for a while after we break up but if she can through it, she might be happier than when she’s with me”: because at the same time we see Runch haunting her own house like a ghost, seeing traces of Neen everywhere, mourning her already although their separation for now is temporary, reaching out for her in their shared bed and finding the spot next to her empty and looking at the two toothbrushes with so much longing and hurt and still making two cups of coffee automatically. We’ll never know what was going on in her head before she met Neen, only how she talked about it in snippets, but I think it’s clear that Neen was a lifeline for her, that she had never been as happy as she was in that tiny moment when she shared the news with her mother, before it started dawning on her that her mother’s love was conditional. The idea that she could be more happy without Neen or that it would make her life easier to return to her mother is horrifyingly wrong.

All of this: the misunderstanding, the uneven footing, the fact that we know what Neen doesn’t seem to, that Runch will never get over this, culminates in this heartbreaking scene. Neen comes home and Runch thinks there is hope but Neen knows that there isn’t. Runch is hopeful and happy to have her wife back in their house and Neen is close to tears the entire time because she has made up her mind. She is trying to be kind and gentle: they are not divorcing because they do not love each other anymore. She spent the first half of the show thinking that Runch had asked her for a divorce because she did not love her anymore, so in this conversation, she is making it as clear as she can that she loves Runch. She’s ordered her favourite food. She talks about their relationship with so much fondness and love that Runch doesn’t even realise what is happening until she says the words. It’s almost worse, I think, than if it had happened during a fight, because there is no way of countering the idea that love alone isn’t enough: they’ve tried everything, and it is not enough. 

Neen: I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. I fell in love with your beauty and your smile. My heart beat so fast, I felt like it was going to burst through my chest.
Runch: Me too. Your smile and your cheerful vibe, got me dreaming every night that I’d get to see you every day. And then that dream came true. We got married. And now we’re living together. We get to see each other’s faces every day. I love you, Neen. I love you so much.
Neen: I love you too. I love you the most.
I want a divorce.
Thank you for trying everything. I always knew you didn’t want any of those terrible things to happen. You had nothing to do with them. And I know you’ve been trying to save our marriage.
Runch: Whatever you’re thinking, or feeling right now, can you tell me about it?
Neen: I just don’t want my love to keep hurting you anymore.
Runch: That’s not true. It never did. Your love never hurt me, Neen.
Neen: Runch, it’s time to stop. You need to accept that no matter how hard we try, we cannot escape the shadow of your mother. I’ll give your mother what she wants. You can go back to being her daughter now. Let me do this one last thing for you.
Runch: No matter what I say right now, I can’t change your mind, can I?
Neen: No.
Runch: Okay. I understand now. Thank you for putting up with all of it for me.

Runch is still wiping Neen’s tears throughout this conversation. Her entire world is collapsing around her, all her hopes are dashed, the future she imagined for both of them is wiped away, and her first instinct is still to dry her tears! What can you even say? She can’t argue back or try to save the moment: it’s clear that Neen has made up her mind, that she’s leaving.
From this, Runch spirals. She wakes up and finds Neen in the kitchen making breakfast for her and Neen says “I’ll always be with you, right there in your heart” before dissolving right in front of her eyes, before she wakes up again in the empty bed and realises it was just a dream and that the worst has happened: always those little moments before fully becoming conscious before your thoughts and memories catch up with you. She races through the house, searching, but Neen is not there. It’s a cycle of grief and incomprehension and there is nobody there to support her because Neen was her one person, and now she is gone – she is now a ghost in her heart, haunting her.

And the perfection of the post-coda scene, which have gone from the sweetness of showing their relationship without the burden of Kingkamol to the bitter reminder of what they now have already lost: all those broken promises of forever (“can you be my happiness and mine alone”), of walking hand in hand, of overcoming the scariness together. The way that Neen felt like a different woman through the eyes of someone who loved her but forgot that the same was true of Runch, and what it would mean for her to lose being seen by Neen. 

Random notes:

The music choices in the episode are so good, especially the string music used in the opening.

It is satisfying to see Att finally pay for his crimes when P’Nai fires him personally, but it’s clear from his reaction that his fury won’t stop here, and that it’s now a personal grudge he holds against Neen’s family: and how cruel is it that he tells Runch he wishes for her to never be loved again, to be alone, in an episode where she loses everything, making his curse seemingly come true.

This show! Runch’s life is so miserable it’s almost comical in its despair. The special occasion is divorce! JFC. The ACTING in this episode. 

In Love Forever - I left you.

In Love Forever: 1x09.

Kaekai: If being in a relationship feels like a competition it means that someone isn’t letting go.

This is the first time that we have seen an interaction between Kingkamol, Runch’s mother, and Kaekai, Neen’s mother, and the contrast between them and their perspectives on life in general and their daughters’ relationship reflects what exactly has gone wrong with Kingkamol. Their meeting at the coffee shop, Kingkamol openly aggressive, Kaekai polite but knowing just how to phrase her sentences to subtly undermine her world view, to make it clear what she really thinks about her, shows the difference in how they’ve both raised their daughters. 

Kaekai: I think it’s nice. This way you’ll see different world views.
Kingkamol: Some views aren’t worth seeing.
Kaekai: If you don’t want to see it, then don’t. The world has changed. Even if you try to ignore it, the world won’t stop spinning.

If you divide the episode into two halves, two different stories, the contrast becomes even clearer: here’s Runch and Neen, once again united, as in love as we’ve seen them, showing care and love for each other, with their bond growing outside of the burden that Kingkamol has placed on them, finally free. In that freedom, that renewed relationship, they are now stronger than ever right at the moment when their divorce was meant to occur: Neen is opening her restaurant, but instead of that signifying the moment where they can drop the act, they have come out stronger than they were before, and not only that, but Runch, who has proven herself through her choice, is fully part of Neen’s family. Kaekai has said it before and she says it again explicitly in this episode: she has gained a daughter, she sees Runch as family, just as much as if they were related by blood. Her world has grown, her family has grown, and every time we see Neen’s family (now that the conflict between Neen and Runch has ended), they have seemed happy, loving, warm. Kingkamol is the opposite: the episode explores just how much, and how early, she considered Neen a threat to her relationship with her daughter. Instead of seeing Neen as another daughter, an addition to her family, she sees her as a threat to her existing daughter, and whenever we go home with her – to her empty home, her home devoid of joy and laughter – all that’s left to her is a husband who is getting increasingly more frustrated to the point where even this quiet, ineffectual man begins raising his voice, and threatening to leave her. The difference in their mindsets, in their acceptance and love, has led to opposite lives, and that difference has nothing to do with their social status, with Kaekai’s wealth: her love for Neen and for Runch is nurturing and supportive, and the outcome is togetherness and happiness, a growing family. Kingkamol’s love is conditional, limiting, demanding, and it has led to a life without love, filled with resentment and loneliness. At this stage, Kingkamol is spiralling into what a show more willing to embrace diagnoses would call psychosis, and there are no rational limits to what she is willing to do to destroy Neen, and Att – filled with his own hatred and desire to destroy Runch in whatever way he can – feeds into it with the mastery of a born manipulator, knowing just what to say and what to do to cause destruction.

After having told her mother that they should stop seeing each other except for the direst of emergencies, Runch appears freed from the expectations placed on her, and it’s significant that the outcome does look exactly like what Kingkamol would have feared the most. Neen has probed before what Runch’s dream life would look like if she could truly choose and I think this episode hints again that it would be quite different from what she has lived before: she drops everything to support her wife as she is opening the restaurant, she delivers flowers, she leaves work to show up to the opening. Runch, left to make decisions for herself, is less driven by ambitions for her career than love for her wife, and she is never happier than when she can prioritise their time together over any other obligations. One of the saddest things about Kingkamol’s upbringing and her insistence that she should be closest to Runch is that she doesn’t truly know her at all, because she has never bothered to get to know her daughter beyond the idea she had of her, the picture she formed of her in her mind. They are entangled in the messiest way, but it doesn’t come with any true intimate knowledge of each other – so much so that Runch, years ago, when she first started dating Neen, took her mother by her word when she said that she would love whoever Runch loved, and Runch didn’t even consider that this would exclude women. There’s something deeply naive in how Runch approaches the introduction (and Runch is so giddy, so happy, when she first shares the news, and from how she has spoken about her state of mind before she met Neen we can deduct that her mother would have rarely seen her like this before), like she doesn’t even consider that her mother might reject Neen, might reject her daughter’s queerness, might be homophobic – and the episode makes it clear that Kingkamol, in spite of her later protestations, is homophobic. She might have later changed her mind, or realised that opposing Neen based on gender would make her look back in the eyes of others, since the world has moved on (this maybe being the overly optimistic side of Thai GLs), so she found other excuses, but her initial gut-reaction to seeing her daughter bring home a woman is complete disbelief and denial. It’s clear from how it occurs: Kingkamol being visited by a friend who shows her picture of a grandchild, the kind of hope in her eyes when Runch tells her she has met someone – that she had a very clear picture of the future in her head, where her obsession with her daughter would probably seamlessly translate into an obsession with a grandchild, and Neen’s appearance messes with the picture, complicates it, and so she refuses to even consider that Runch is being genuine and serious about this relationship. This flashback – which is positioned in the middle of the episode like other unhappy ones have been, in contrast to the ones at the end that focus on just the happiness of Runch and Neen’s relationship – also shows how Kingkamol processed it. Years passed between Runch introducing Neen and their eventual wedding, and yet in Kingkamol’s mind, it happened quickly, it felt rushed, it destroyed her idea that this would just be a phase for her daughter that she would grow out of. The flashbacks leaves out what I’m certain would have been several more occasions at which Kingkamol treated Neen rudely, and leaves it to the audience to imagine just why they would have applied for their marriage licences without first telling her, and why Neen’s family bought them a house to move into after their wedding, making it clear that they knew first. As much as Runch insists in the flashback at the end of the episode that she is certain that her mother would come to love Neen as much as she does, deep down she must have realised that this could never happen, and that’s why she’s so late to tell her parents about it.

Everything in this episode works to showcase how much Runch loves and supports and Neen, and everything that happens feeds into Kingkamol’s spiral, because Att sets her up to witness it now that she’s been banished. Nothing bothers her more than seeing Runch being invited into the family pictures at the same restaurant opening that staff have prevented her from entering: here’s Runch, fully part of someone else’s family, embraced with love by Neen’s mother, and here’s Kingkamol, held back by the guards from crashing the party, clearly on the outside of it all, having lost control over her daughter and being kept out of her life forcefully. To Kingkamol, everything feels like a conspiracy now, and Att feeds into it by positioning himself as her only ally: Neen’s family is conspiring to steal her daughter, her husband has withdrawn his support from her and is instead cautioning her to be careful lest she end up all alone even if she gets sick and dies (including himself in that equation, for the first time), the public’s perception has changed since she gave her interview and is now admiring of Runch and Neen’s relationship. There is nothing keeping her in check anymore, nobody to restrain her: the showdown in the restaurant is inevitable, the moment where all of Runch and Neens’ happiness (they talk about how happy they are in that moment, relieved, not under pressure, free – a contrast to last time, when the table next to them was gossiping about them and they had to flee) collides violently with how miserable Kingkamol is. Just before it happens, Runch says “I used to think happiness always came at a price but now I’m starting to believe that as long as we choose each other, that’s all that matters.”
Kingkamol has shown how willing she is to use violence in the past, even if it was just a shove, a pull, or throwing the vase that cut Neen’s leg – she has always been close to crossing the boundary into outright violence, and it all comes out in this incredible scene. Att removes Runch from the picture by reporting to the restaurant staff that her car has been hit, leaving Neen alone and isolated, and Kingkamol shakes and slaps her right away, in front of all the other customers, unrestrained. It’s visceral, brutal, and comes as a complete shock to Neen, being assaulted in a public place with nobody to help her. Runch returns and immediately pushes her mother away from Neen, also disbelieving about what she has seen her do, and then she finally fully shouts at her, speaking her mind fully.

Runch: You did it for yourself, for your own satisfaction, and your own self-importance. This woman is the one I love. She’s my wife. So why do you treat her like your enemy?
Kingkamol: She took my daughter from me.
Runch: No one took me from you. I left you. […] Stop saying those things. I’m a grown up now. I have my own life. But you never accepted that.
Kingkamol: I did my best to raise you right. I sacrificed everything for you.
Runch: Yeah, that’s right. That’s exactly right. You’ve sacrificed everything for me. And you’ve been using that fact to control me all my life. I’m supposed to listen to you, stay close to you, and never love anyone more than you. If I don’t, then suddenly I’m an ungrateful child. You know, what you did today just messed up my life. 

Kingkamol slaps her daughter in the middle of the argument, and she realises immediately that she has crossed another line, but it’s not enough to stop her from trying to attack Neen again – and it’s Runch who tells Neen not to resort to violence, not because she is trying to protect her mother, but because Runch’s greatest fear from the start has been that Neen would change because of her mother, that the conflict between Kingkamol and her would turn her into someone she inherently isn’t. The heartbreaking thing is that this is the most definitive act against Kingkamol we’ve seen Runch take, voicing exactly how much her mother’s overbearing, conditional love has wrecked her life, telling her mother that she was the one who decided to leave to live her own life, and yet, Neen is left by herself in the restaurant sobbing, realising that in spite of Runch doing everything she was meant to do, everything she has ever asked of her, she can’t keep Neen safe from being assaulted like this. They’ve insisted again and again that it is enough to hold hands going through this ordeal, that choosing each other is enough, that love is enough, but Kingkamol has just proven to Neen that  devotion and care and love aren’t enough if they still leave her vulnerable and hurt. It adds bitterness to the coda, a foreboding sense of doom: Runch saying she has changed her mind about getting married at 35 because she wants to start her life with Neen earlier, so that they have more time to grow old together. What if love alone isn’t enough? 

Random notes:

I don’t even care if it’s naive but there’s something deeply lovable about Runch just bringing Neen home without bothering to come out first, like instinctively insisting that this is what the world should look like, that this should be entirely normal and possible. She’s not rebellious, but idealistic in this very quiet, gentle way, which seems like such an unlikely outcome from having a mother like Kingkamol.

It’s foreshadowing that Kingkamol’s husband warns her about Neen’s family: that what have kept her safe this whole time is that Runch has protected her, but if she crosses the boundary, one day their power could get her into trouble. She doesn’t hear it, and what she does after is the opposite of listening to his advice.

There is so much delicious acting in this episode, most of all in the showdown scene (Ling, Orm, Kik, all three of them owning that scene), but I also very much enjoyed Runch’s reaction to Att’s insincere attempts to pretend he is sorry for what he is done – she clearly knows he isn’t being genuine, she clearly resents him for everything he has done, she gives him the lift to the city that enables him to send the location of the restaurant to Kingkamol with the utmost reluctance. As naive as she can be, or was in the past, this is the most resentful we’ve seen her. I also want to give props to how Mae Koy conveys being politely disdainful so perfectly, in exactly the way that would enrage Kingkamol the most. 

In Love Forever - I won’t let you face it on your own.

In Love Forever: 1x08.

Neen: I wasn’t dragged into this. I chose this. I chose you. I chose us. 

Maybe to start off Episode Eight, it’s important to go back to how the previous episode ended. Kingkamol was given a platform, by sheer chance and luck, to air her feelings on national television, without anyone providing an alternating point of view or a counterpoint to how she decided to tell her story as the wronged, loving mother who is experiencing the heartbreak of her daughter choosing her wife over her. The show itself seems well-meaning enough – with marriage equality only coming into effect in Thailand in January 2025, it is trying to portray how the legislative change has affected families, with Kingkamol explicitly not appearing because she opposes it – homophobia isn’t the issue here – and she is smart enough at manipulation and framing that she knows how to tell the story to garner sympathy, to play into the societal expectation about how daughters are meant to treat their mothers. She has successfully victimised herself because nobody is there to tell the story about how her own actions have affected the marriage, how impossible she has made it for Runch and Neen to remain happily married with her interference. The beginning of the episode shows the fall-out, and how the public has made up its mind after watching the programme. Att is predictably happy to talk at length about how it has revealed a wrongness in Runch’s character, quoting back lines to his colleagues and trying to sway them to join in on his little witch hunt – but for once, it looks like they think he is going too far in his prosecution, and actually not joining in. Meilin tries to spare Runch from having to overhear what he is saying but she walks into it anyway, and gives him a very effective dressing down, to the extent that she threatens him with a defamation lawsuit if he continues his tirade (many appear to have forgotten that apart from being a wife and daughter, Runch is also a highly capable lawyer, unlike Att).

Att’s irrational hatred of Runch, his whole agenda to destroy her utterly, is given context here, and it speaks to how weak he is as a person that the cause for his hatred is so petty, so ridiculous, that it looks like nothing compared to the complexity of things that are going on with Kingkamol and Runch. A woman he liked dated a woman – that’s it. Sometimes it really is just homophobia, for a man to feel wronged because he couldn’t get the woman he wanted, who then found himself working under another woman who was married to a woman. There is no deeper psychology here except Att feeling he was robbed of something he thought he had a right to, a girlfriend, a promotion, and here he is scheming with more drive and engagement than he has ever pursued his own profession, fully capitalising on what Kingkamol’s interview has done to Runch’s reputation (she never considered how it would affect her daughter at all) when he steals one of her clients from her.

Runch is losing clients and has to reassure herself in a conversation with her boss that the firm still supports her (“I’m just disappointed that rumours have more weight than facts.”), and Neen’s office is facing endless calls from the media about the interview as well, with her reputation at stake in a business that runs on being well-regarded and keeping up appearances. There is a sense that she is trying to keep up a brave face, because she does finally have what she asked for, which is Runch’s full support, Runch choosing her, but what happens when she realises that this isn’t enough to keep her safe from being hurt by Kingkamol, that it doesn’t stop with Runch finally making her decision and standing by her side fully because her mother-in-law will never stop? Even when she is confronted with the fact that she hasn’t just hurt Neen with the interview, but Runch as well, she doesn’t back down from insisting that it was her right to express her own feelings, her pain and sadness, publicly for all to see.

In Love Forever - Please go home.

In Love Forever: 1x07.

 

Seven episodes into In Love Forever, and arguably Runch and Neen’s marriage has never been in a worse spot than it’s in now, even though they haven’t brought up the topic of divorce again. Neen has moved out and set very clear boundaries on the conditions of her return: Kingkamol needs to move out. Runch is not yet in a position to fulfil this demand because it would cross a boundary to throw her mother out of the house when she needs a roof over her head, even if even Runch, at this stage, must be aware to some extent that this whole situation is entirely manufactured, that there is nothing real that is keeping Kingkamol from moving back in with her husband. She knows her father well enough to realise that he hasn’t actually kicked his wife out of the house, but her entire childhood has programmed her to be a filial daughter, and it would go against everything that Kingkamol has put into her head to actively kick her out now. I’ve been thinking a lot about Runch as a character – how frustrating it is to watch her, the dynamic of a character who is struggling to make a firm decision she herself knows she must make. In a way, this frustration drives the entire plot of the show: it all hinges on Runch’s fence-sitting, on how deeply embedded her role as a mediator is, how hard it is for her to make decisions that would be, above all, for her own good, for her own happiness. It might be frustrating, but it’s also deeply realistic. It might have seemed like she already made a decision after realising her mother was setting her up with Meilin, that this was a breaking point that changed her perception of her mother. It was enough for her to voice her deep disappointment in seeing her childhood hero transformed into someone she could no longer idolise because of her actions against Neen. But it’s not quite that easy to unlearn patterns, to find the strength to do something as unthinkable as cutting off her mother for good, and Kingkamol knows her daughter well enough to play her in exactly the way that would work the best. I think going into this separation from Neen, Runch genuinely thought that her mother had changed and made amends. From everything she has seen, Neen is the one who remained resistant against her mother-in-law who had apologised, who had made an effort to live together peacefully. She hasn’t seen the side of Kingkamol that openly admitted to Neen that this is all a front, a campaign against her. She hasn’t yet realised how manipulative her mother is, and the most interesting twist in this episode is that Runch ultimately asks Neen’s help not because she is building a case against her mother in some public forum, but because she knows that she ultimately needs this proof for herself: to see with her own eyes what her mother is capable of so she can solve the conundrum in her head, to help her act, to find the resolve. It’s the bravest Runch has ever been, making that request, because she already knows what she will find and what decision she will have to make at the end of it, she is just working out how to get herself in a head-space where she can finally find her own freedom and happiness.

The opening scenes of the episode perfectly capture how little room Runch has for herself to rest or consider or act. Her mother is smothering in her attention and affection, taking up every minute of her time, trying to assert her control through constant phone calls, asking for constant reaffirmations of her love. At work, she calls again and again, regardless of how busy Runch is. When Runch doesn’t pick up, she calls the assistant, with no awareness or willingness to concede that Runch exists as a person in other spheres where she needs to be able to focus. It’s overbearing, destructive: and then there is no chance for relief, because when Runch returns home, her mother dramatically waits for her on the living room couch, again asking for reassurance and confirmation that she is still a devoted daughter. It’s done under the pretence of enjoying this time that they are spending together, the first time they are this close again after the marriage, but it looks like suffocation. There is nobody else at home to balance it out, Runch is by herself, she is no longer returning to a home that has her wife in it to provide the comfort she actually needs. I think there’s something in comparing this overwhelming display of affection without any actual care for what Runch needs in the moment with how Runch approaches her attempts to make up with Neen, which are also not what Neen needs or has asked for. It should look romantic from the outside, the endless supply of flowers and desserts she has delivered to the office, but Neen has told Runch what she needs and it’s the one thing she can’t give her, and the flowers and gifts no longer work. In fact, it has gotten bad enough, for the first time, that Neen doesn’t even keep up the pretence of their marriage in front of others. Her assistant is well-aware that things aren’t going well because she is the one who ends up with the desserts, and Neen tells Runch to stop in front of strangers in the lobby of her office, which feels like not even her father’s request of remaining publicly amicable until the restaurant opening is restraining her anymore from showing just how unhappy she is (and even that moment gets interrupted by a phone call from Kingkamol which Runch answers, because she has been conditioned to do so instantly, and it costs her when she doesn’t – remember the one time she didn’t, when her mother actually needed her, the kind of lesson that is impossible to unlearn and would pop up every time she sees her mum’s name come up on her phone). Ling plays Runch’s quiet desperation so incredibly well – she’s never loud in her performance of being trapped and desperate, but it’s always obvious in her face what a toll it takes that she can’t get out of this situation unless she does something she can’t bring herself to do yet.

In Love Forever - I know it’s fake.

In Love Forever: 1x06.

Six episodes in, this might be the happiest and most stable that we’ve seen Runch and Neen in their marriage. Runch is happiest when her little acts of service – bringing flowers, tea and cake to her wife in the office, for example – make Neen (and Neen’s assistant, who voices that Runch’s setting of standards makes it hard to find a partner of her own who measures up) smile. They’ve decided not to divorce, they are giving their marriage a second chance, and for now, they look like they’re living through a honeymoon period that showcases what they would be like without the malicious outside influence that has been haunting their marriage before it even began. Under the surface though, something much darker is happening: they are living in completely different realities, where Runch exists in the happy delusion that her mother has truly changed and is attempting to make up for her past transgressions, while Neen is convinced that Kingkamol is only pretending and is in fact executing a plan to drive a wedge between them yet again. Something about the happiness of their scenes together, when they are alone, co-existing with the loneliness of Neen being convinced that she is right but being unable to bring Runch along into this realisation, makes it even more heartbreaking: because Kingkamol has invaded their private sphere, lives in their house, is always there, meaning there’s nowhere to escape to anymore.

What makes the situation worse is that the viewers know that Neen is completely correct in her assessment of Kingkamol, even before she openly reveals that this is part of a devious plan, that she is still pursuing her ultimate goal of destroying the marriage. Neen knows that she can’t just tell Runch what is happening, that Runch won’t believe it until she has irrefutable proof – in the beginning of the episode, she gently probes her for suspicions and there are none. You could blame Runch for that naivete, but it must be such a seductive dream for her to have everything she wanted, to have the central conflict of her life seemingly resolved with Kingkamol finally apologising to Neen and, apparently, treating her with respect for the first time ever. Runch is not a character who will go into any interaction or personal relationship assuming the worst, in spite of all of her bad experiences with both her mother and with Att. Runch’s natural position is always seeking balance (to a fault), even when she should be making a firm decision, and so it is no wonder that she is enjoying what she thinks is a detente between her wife and her mother. At the same time, there’s something undeniably comical about her essentially turning into the “this is fine” dog in the meme while her house is burning down around her (but it’s very, very tragic for Neen). And what can Neen do, when Runch’s perception of her reality means that any retribution, any fighting back, would look like pettiness against someone who is trying to redeem herself? For someone whose nagging and insults started off as being fairly ineffective because they never hit where Neen could really hurt (the pain came from not being defended by her wife), this particular plan seems immaculately conceived to truly destroy Neen (and, because Neen is Runch’s happiness, Kingkamol’s daughter as well).

Neen’s family is so happy when they finally reveal that they have decided to stay married, it’s like an alternative universe in terms of what their marriage could be like if it was fully supported. This time, when Runch drinks with Neen’s dad and brother, it isn’t an act of small revenge on her, but a genuine celebration of them finally “being a real family” (but even then, Neen can’t join in because she knows she will have to drive them home because of Kingkamol). When they return home to find Kingkamol waiting up for them who blocks their way with so much fervour that her daughter not only finally speaks her mind a little bit (because she does speak up when she’s drunk) – “I’m all grown up now, I’m not a child” but also vomits on her. It leads to the most direct conversation that Neen and Kingkamol have had about their warring ideas about what Runch needs and should do: Neen says she doesn’t want to constrain Runch, that she is giving her the freedom to make her own choices. Kingkamol complains that Runch never used to get drunk when she lived with her and Neen says “Maybe she didn’t have the courage to live life the way she wanted yet.” It’s such a mature way to stand up against Kingkamol because ultimately this isn’t a fight about possessing Runch for Neen, but a struggle to give Runch the option to choose her own happiness, her own life, over an overbearing mother who insists that she still knows what’s good for her daughter and should have the right to choose for her. It’s freedom vs control, which makes it very clear who genuinely cares and who doesn’t really value her happiness – because to Kingkamol, her identity is so caught up in her daughter’s that she doesn’t see her as her own person, with her own thoughts and wishes. Neen even acknowledges in that conversation that she knows how much Kingkamol loves Runch (even if it is a deeply twisted love), but that she is the one who lives with her every day, because Runch has already chosen to share her life with her. 

Nothing that Neen will ever say to Kingkamol will change her mind though, and so she continues to terrorise their life together in every way possible. She vacuums the house in the morning to wake them up. She bullies her daughter into calling off a date night so she can cook for her, which leads to a hilarious competition between her and Neen that ends with two inedible overly salted dishes that Runch still has to bear with a smile because she’s trying to keep the peace. After Neen directly confronts Kingkamol over her intentions and gets confirmation that her suspicion was correct (“I’ll do whatever it takes to get you out of Runch’s life”), her behaviour escalates even more: she gossips with a neighbour about Neen not taking care of her wife, even inviting her into the house that isn’t hers. She buys trees to “ward off evil” (she’s still there, so clearly it’s not working), permanently changing a home that isn’t hers, literally planting her own roots in her daughter’s marriage, without asking anyone for permission. She records a fight she has with Neen to play it back to her daughter, making herself appear as the victim, the reasonable demure one, Neen as the aggressive and unforgiving daughter-in-law (and Runch never questions why her mother would be recording the conversation in the first place, it’s her friend overseas who points out to her how insane that is). And throughout, when Neen pleads with Runch to see through her mother, to at least question her motives, Runch remains steadfast in her conviction that her mother is being sincere. What breaks the camel’s back in the end is Neen overhearing the neighbours gossiping about her marriage when they go on an early-morning run – and it’s no wonder that this is what makes her snap in the end, because we know that Runch delights in the very acts of service that are being twisted into something ugly here, that this is how Runch expresses her love and that Neen lets her do it because she knows that it makes her happy. It’s malicious because it questions the very basis of their love for each other, while disregarding all the ways that Neen looks after Runch (and it’s perfect that it happens in an episode where Neen does so much to accommodate her). When Neen confronts Kingkamol at home, she doesn’t hold back, but in the scuffle that ensues, Runch ends up protecting her mother, raising her voice at Neen, and comforting her mother when Neen runs out of the house, exasperated. It’s the natural outcome of them existing in different realities, with Runch’s inability to see her mother for who she really is, even after what she tried to do with Meilin – and it’s bad enough that Neen moves back with her parents for now.

Natee, in France, talks some sense into her after the fact, and maybe part of Runch’s problem is that there are so few outside voices of reason in her life, that she is so isolated, that even this one person who seems to have a grasp of the situation is so far and so many time zones away. “Would my mum really go that far”, she still asks about a person who set up a whole other woman for her to marry instead of Neen while they were still married. Runch goes over to Neen’s house to apologise to the whole family, promising again that she is choosing Neen, but Neen, knowing she would probably give in the moment she opens the door, refuses to come back until Kingkamol has left (“I don’t want to hear your apologies. They’re nothing but words.”) And Runch, being who she is, still thinks she can walk the line somehow.

The flashback is still of a happy moment: this time, their wedding day, Runch happily saying, “And from this day forward, we’ll be each other’s wives forever.” Considering where we are at in the present time, it seems like a dark omen of what’s to come, in spite of their happiness that day. 

Random notes:

In another show, maybe it would be addressed how Runch unfailingly drinks until she’s drunk every time she touches alcohol, but I don’t think it’s going to happen here, it just coincidentally fits in well with the sense that she has depression and should, as said before, see a therapist.

It’s also interesting that Neen’s mum is the one refuting the idea of Runch ever cutting her mother off completely, because I thought that in Runch’s conversation with her dad in the previous episode, that’s exactly the option she deep-down knew she would eventually have to choose before Kingkamol’s miraculous and fake change of mind later on. It doesn’t seem to be unthinkable to her, just deeply uncomfortable and clearly a very last resort.

Kingkamol bringing a picture of herself and Runch and placing it in front of a wedding picture is next-level outrageous, such a clear symbolic act of disrespecting Neen, that it’s hard not to feel some kind of way about Runch not reprimanding her for it.

Director P’Jaew writing perfectly romantic ad copy for Whoop watches with this: “They’re watches. But they’re not meant to tell how much time has passed. Instead they’ll remind me that with every step I take, you’ll always be there with me.” 

In Love Forever – You are my home.

In Love Forever: 1x05.

In Love Forever’s fifth episode, almost halfway through the season, is a good point to think about the nature of apologies, as various forms of them take up the majority of the story here. What is a good apology? What’s a sincere one, one that can be believed? We’ve seen Runch apologise to Neen numerous times – sometimes, I would argue, almost reflexively, as if to ward off an argument that she knows is coming by taking the blame early, to avoid a worse outcome. Those previous apologies were sincere – Runch never wants to hurt Neen – but not really effective, because Runch didn’t know yet what she had to do to change things. Apologising to Neen for her mother’s behaviour again and again is pointless if there are no boundaries in place to keep Kingkamol from hurting her daughter-in-law, and in any case, Runch is apologising on behalf of someone else, someone who doesn’t even accept that she has done something wrong and has no intention of changing her behaviour. At the beginning of the episode, Runch is back to apologising (for her mother) after they return from the argument over Meilin, but this time, things are different: Neen isn’t emotional because she is upset with Runch, she has just witnessed her wife standing up for her, against her mother, with determination and conviction, for the first time. “You already protected me. You did it in front of your mum and everyone” she says, crying, looking vulnerable but also different from their previous fights, where she ultimately knew that nothing would change because Runch was in an impossible position. “It made me so happy that I was speechless”. It’s what she has wanted this whole time: for Runch to make a choice and to choose her (“Today I chose you. I chose our family. You are my home, Neen.”) – and it should change everything. It’s so sad for them that it only works for a little while, because they aren’t up against a rational opponent, but someone utterly determined to do whatever it takes to destroy their love for one another.

Runch puts her change of heart into words in another conversation with Natee, her overseas friend, the next day: she says that she wants to “protect someone for the first time in my life”, like the instinct to choose Neen over her mother outweighs the guilt and gratefulness she has for Kingkamol, and that she won’t divorce Neen. “I won’t go anywhere. I’ll keep staying with her until she chases me away herself”, which is a brave and true statement but also, secretly, a pretty dire prediction of what might happen in the future. The next time they’re at the brink of divorce, it might just be because Neen is the one who suggests it, but Runch at this stage seems so blissed out by the path that has opened to her because she has finally made a choice that it doesn’t yet occur to her what her mother is truly capable of when she’s backed into a corner.

Neen also processes what happened with her friends – and it’s interesting that these two conversations with people outside of the relationship bracket the conflict in this episode. Neen seems so happy, so relieved, that Runch stood up for her for the first time, and she says she realised that when she agreed to the divorce she was just being “snarky”, because sometimes Neen tends to think one thing and says another. One of her friends suggests that she has got her happy ending now, which is definitely not something any character should be saying halfway through the season of a show (but viewed from the escalation that will happen later, Neen’s little smile of hope will break your heart even more).

It should be immediately apparent to Runch how hard this process will be, even if she has now decided for herself how to proceed, when she goes over to her mother’s house to establish the boundaries she wants to put in place to protect her marriage. Kingkamol sees Runch’s presence alone as proof that nothing has changed, that her daughter is still as devoted to her as she wants her to be, and she immediately brings up Meilin again, as if all the things that Runch said to her last night had gone straight over her head (I giggled a bit at the deliberate use of a flashback here – the show uses these replays of scenes we’ve already seen very sparingly, they’re such a staple for GLs, but this one was used specifically to showcase how wild it is that Kingkamol would think she could brush this under the rug and just pick up where she left off). It makes Runch furious enough that she says the most determined words we’ve heard her speak yet: “mind your own business”. It only serves to play into Kingkamol’s perception that Neen is the problem because she has changed her daughter from the devoted, pliable child she used to be, to someone with a whole inner world and life that is now unreachable to her, instead of realising that this is just the nature of children growing up to become their own people. In a last-ditch effort, Runch kneels down in front of her mother to explain that she is grateful for everything that she has given to her, that she will continue to take care of her and her father. Then she pleads with her: “Please, don’t destroy our family, don’t hurt Neen, either with your words or your actions.” She is clearly stating her boundaries, and Kingkamol immediately and furiously crosses them, saying she hates Neen, that she would have prevented the marriage if she had known this would happen. Then she finishes it off by calling Runch “stupid” – again, after Runch, for the first time in her life, found the determination and bravery to stand up to her overbearing mother.
I don’t know if Runch went into this conversation expecting a different outcome or if it only served to confirm for her what she already suspected: that the only way out is a clean break and distance, because her mother will continue to disregard any attempt to protect Neen (it fits that the first time we meet her she is breaking an earlier boundary, when she just turns up at the gate of their house without calling first). Runch’s dad confirms it for her: “she’ll never change, don’t expect her to change, it’s a lost cause”. It’s so hard to hear Runch talk about how she idolised her mother when she was a child, how she was her hero, and how her perception of her has changed now. “I know what I have to do. I just don’t want to do it.” She’s grieving the loss of who she thought her mother was, and she knows that she can’t save her marriage without cutting Kingkamol out of her life.

I don’t think anything the show does could ever really justify Kingkamol’s actions, especially as they become more unhinged in the rest of this episode, but the flashbacks to Runch’s childhood show what she feels she is losing at least: the devotion of a child who thought the world of her, whose entire world turned around her, until she got married. It’s like she put all of her energy and hope and dreams into Runch without realising that Runch would eventually have to go off to live her own life, and now all that is left is a house filled to the brim with memorabilia of her daughter and a husband who doesn’t comprehend her actions. It’s not exactly an unhappy marriage, but an empty one, because Kingkamol has tended to Runch, and is still obsessed with only her, and her husband is kind of just there as a prop. It’s a stark contrast to Runch and Neen’s marriage which is filled with so much devotion, care, desire and love when it is free from Kingkamol’s influence: these two people are habituated to each other, but they don’t provide for each other emotionally. Apart from Runch, Kingkamol’s life is empty, her house is a shrine to a relationship that is broken, her marriage is unfulfilled with a husband who is, emotionally and maybe also physically, frequently far away. There’s a haunting quality to little Runch’s words echoing in Kingkamol’s mind: “I won’t leave you. I’ll always love you more than anyone. I promise.” It’s so obviously a promise that no parent should ever take so seriously to build an entire life on, and yet here the threat of it being broken sends Kingkamol into a spiral.

But back to apologies, with Meilin, who does a whole tour of them, meeting all the standards of a good one: she talks to Runch to clear the air and clarify that she never wanted to mess with her marriage. She goes to Neen, who seems reluctant to show too much of her feelings but also accepts her apology as sincere. Her final meeting with Kingkamol breaks the last straw as far as Kingkamol’s rationality is concerned: Meilin makes it clear as she can that she will not be anyone’s tool, especially not to break up a marriage, destroying any hope that Kingkamol had for this particular plan of attack. While Neen and Runch rebuild their relationship and reconfirm their devotion for each other, Kingkamol goes back to scheming.

The reconciliation scene is beautiful, visually reminiscent of all those flashbacks of them initially dating, with a care-free atmosphere of two people who feel like they’re falling in love with each other in a new way. They are going for a picnic, Neen rides on the back of Runch’s bike, they’re finally taking the time to have a full conversation instead of distracting themselves from it by falling into bed with each other.

Runch: You asked me who I’d choose between you and my mum. Will you stay by my side?
Neen: So we’re not getting divorced anymore, right?
Runch: No, we’re not.
Neen: We’ve been through a lot. We’ve given each other a chance. We’ve expected things and been let down over and over again. I hope this was the last time. I really want us to be happy together.
Runch: I want us to be happy together too.

It’s honest and direct and a new beginning, but it also comes with the kernel of discomfort from Neen’s warning about hoping that this was the last time: knowing Kingkamol, we can feel that it won’t be. And again the parallels in this show are so well-considered because the next morning, when Runch and Neen are in bed and Runch insists that there is no reason to wait for nighttime before they can have sex while slipping her hand under the cover, she is inadvertently replaying what happened in her dream: she’s wearing the same clothes, she’s taking control, she’s asking for what she wants, and, just like in the dream, a phone call interrupts them. It’s Runch’s dad for a change, but that doesn’t make it any less upsetting when the true extent of Kingkamol’s new unhinged phase is revealed. Her new plan, apparently, is to ruin her own marriage along with her daughter’s: skilfully, she’s baited her hapless husband into kind of saying to give him some space which is enough linguistic room to claim he has thrown her out of the house, as she works herself into a tantrum, packs her bags, and shows up at Runch’s gate unannounced, ready to move in.

It almost doesn’t succeed because Neen manages to stay calm as the antics play out and reasonably suggests that Kingkamol should be having a conversation with her husband, because “married couples should talk when there’s a problem” (a truth she has come to the very hard way). Here we arrive at the final apology of the episode, one that meets neither standard – it is not sincere, nor indicates a change of behaviour to prevent further injury. In a dramatic scene, Kingkamol goes to her knees in front of Neen, begging for her forgiveness, promising to treat her better and stay out of her business, working herself up into such a tantrum that she ends up fainting. Obviously, they can’t turn her away now, and so she moves in. In a second debrief with her friends later (that comes with very different emotions than the first one), Neen reveals that she is well-aware that this is another plot to destroy her marriage, and that she is going to war to prove it to Runch, who fully believes her mother is being genuine. “This isn’t just family drama, this is a war between a wife and a mother-in-law.”

In the flashback scene, we’ve moved to a year ago when Runch proposed to Neen in a beautiful scene set by the seaside, guiding Neen down a trail of seashells and rocks, finally presenting the ring to her in a seashell. I think it’s significant that the proposal itself already holds some sadness within it instead of just being joyful: Runch talks about the heaviness of her life, that she wouldn’t have wanted to keep going if she hadn’t met Neen. I feel like this show won’t have the time to explore what exactly Runch’s life was like before she met Neen but the hints of it are there to flesh out her character. We know from what Runch’s dad said that Kingkamol started her campaign against Neen when they were just dating (but the very structure of the flashbacks – only showing their happy moments – means we haven’t seen Kingkamol appear yet in the past), so it’s probably safe to assume that Neen would have some reservations here, that play out for a microsecond in her face before she says yes. 

Runch: I may not be a perfect woman. I have responsibilities. I have my own world that can feel heavy at times, but if you accept, I want you to be there by my side, in my world, on every good day and every difficult day. Will you marry me? Will you be my wife and my family?

Random notes:

The acting in that first scene is so good: they are both so vulnerable with each other, so soft. Runch is on her knees, kind of offering this determination that she has found, the choice she has made, to fix things, not even realising to start off with that Neen already knows and has just been waiting for this moment. The show hasn’t really made it explicit that Neen went into this whole thing thinking genuinely that Runch had stopped loving here but realised she was wrong through the last few episodes – they never really directly talked about it – but it’s clear that this could be a new beginning for them if only Kingkamol wasn’t this determined to destroy them.

It’s just a prop, but the Foundations of Weaving book that Runch brings to their picnic date made me think that maybe Neen’s question about what kind of life Runch envisions for herself, to be truly happy, would look a lot simpler than the one she has currently, and we can only hope that one day she gets to live it. Also, talking about props on this show, Kingkamol’s shrine to Runch is truly magnificently detailed (all the cards she’s ever written to her mother!), even if it just takes up a few seconds of actual screen time. 

Kingkamol moving in is played for laughs to start off with and the scene of Runch and Neen watching a horror film together, already freaked out (I love that Runch is the wussier one between them), to then have Kingkamol appear at their door in a black face mask to add to the horrors, is very, very funny: but it takes a lot of suspension of disbelief that Neen would be the one ending up sharing a bed with her mother-in-law. I’ll allow it if only for how funny Neen is when she pretends to sleep-talk where she gets to say all the things that propriety would normally forbid her, already set in her agenda to prove that Kingkamol is faking it all (“You think you can fool me by being nice”). Also Orm seems like she’s having an absolute blast in the scene. 

In Love Forever - Can I be yours forever?

In Love Forever: 1x04.

I’m just confirming that it’s not a dream. […] Waking up to see your face just makes me so happy.

If you hadn’t watched the previous episodes, if you didn’t know that Runch and Neen had together decided to get divorced, with a four-month waiting period imposed by Neen’s dad, you’d be forgiven for thinking that they are actually currently reliving their honeymoon. They are sharing a bed again, they have been sleeping together for three consecutive nights, as Runch reminds Neen, proudly smiling, neither of them even mentions the divorce that is looming over their heads, as if they’ve both forgotten about it. And “forgotten” is apt here, I think, because as in love as they are here, trapped in their shared marital glow, they’ve also clearly not spoken about if any of these developments affect their decision about the divorce. In Love Forever makes it clear what they have been doing instead of talking, which is very much the source of all their problems, but it’s hard not to fall into their little bubble – which they’ve managed to sustain somehow, since leaving the garden house – and believe that their love can outlast whatever challenges they’re about to face. Runch’s words, “my girl, my wife, mine”, Neen’s question, “Can I be yours forever” – it all sounds like renewed vows rather than an ending, with the “forever” doing all the heavy lifting for the conversation they are not having about whether or not they still believe in it. It would be infuriating, if it weren’t also so lovely, with all the stakes becoming obvious: this is what they are bound to lose, and it would scar them both irreparably.

The ticking time bomb that falls right into the other centre of Runch’s life shouldn’t be a surprise to her: of course Meilin would pop up here too, and it’s almost worse because she has the wide-eyed naivete of someone who isn’t deliberately setting out to ruin a marriage, but to instead get closer to her childhood crush and idol (who she believes, for all intents and purposes, to be single). She’s been hired by Neen’s uncle, who knows her studies advisor, and Runch has been tasked with training her – but of course the fact that they already know each other means that from the outside, the way they interact could be misinterpreted (and Meilin’s love-struck gaze doesn’t help). Att sees an opportunity to spread more malicious gossip in the office, where it falls on fertile ground (it’s funny that the coworkers immediately agree that Meilin has a crush on Runch, while I’m not really certain if Runch realises – again, she strikes me as the kind of person who’d be ignorant about, or at the very least wouldn’t take it seriously). When Meilin goes so far as to openly share with Att of all people that they’ve known each other since childhood, a clear plan starts to take shape in his mind.

The fallout is delayed for a bit, with Runch coming home to a romantically lit up home and Neen surprising her. I think that there’s is a clear difference between how the two of them are handling the situation in this episode: Runch, reassured by their newly discovered closeness, has more or less returned to what she normally does, without any changes in her actions, while Neen is making a deliberate effort to be more open and supportive after finding out that Runch struggles at work. Runch has kept her struggles a secret because she didn’t want to burden Neen, or was eager to uphold the image she had of her in her mind, but now she is experiencing what it means to share the burden with a supportive wife – my guess would be that Runch has always been the one to tend towards big gestures, but here Neen goes all out with the candles and the wine and the outfit, all of it tastefully arranged around their wedding photo, which should have been a prompt for a conversation (that is cut short by Runch taking off Neen’s clothes right there in the kitchen, a predictable outcome and maybe exactly what Neen expected but still, it’s a conversation they don’t have, continuing not to address the elephant in the room). It does subtly connect to Runch’s dream in the first episode – the part of their relationship where they fall into each other like this again and again is easy and comes naturally, “don’t talk”, but neither of them manages to approach the hard part.
I think Neen’s growth and change shows again when Att initially approaches her with the rumours, proudly showing off a picture he’s secretly taken that could easily be interpreted as Runch sitting a bit closer than she has to to someone who is just a new colleague. Instead of getting furious immediately, but maybe also concerned about what it would mean to show how upset she is in front of someone that she knows has been torturing Runch, she gives her wife the opportunity to explain – and if Runch felt more secure in herself and in her relationship, if her default position wasn’t to always try to manage situations herself to “protect” Neen (or to protect their precarious relationships from what she thinks Neen’s reaction would be), it would be a good moment to just come clean about everything in one go: that she has known Meilin since childhood, that this is the same woman her mother has been inviting over to meet with Runch. Instead, she only shares what she has to, deliberately controlling the conversation – an attempt doomed to fail because Neen already knows more than Runch is saying here (because Att told her they’ve known each other since childhood). By keeping secrets deliberately, she is causing suspicions that Neen would have otherwise never had (of all the problems they’ve had in their marriage, unfaithfulness wouldn’t even have entered her mind, I think). Neen is behaving more maturely, giving Runch the benefit of the doubt, allowing her to explain herself, but Runch is falling back into the old pattern that has caused the rift in their relationship. It opens everything up to misinterpretation and doubt, and combines catastrophically with Att’s intent to ruin Runch’s life (even though not even he could have orchestrated the perfect moment deliberately – Neen walking in as Meilin faints into Runch’s arms, a moment that obviously looks so bad that Runch immediately knows where her mind would go).

Runch: I didn’t want you to worry so I didn’t tell you.
Neen: So you decided what to tell or not to tell me? I always trusted you, but today you made me feel like you have a secret you don’t tell me about. I s there anything else you haven’t told me?
Runch: No. There’s absolutely nothing else.

Neen asks her so directly, giving her every opportunity to explain the full extent of the situation here, and Runch does not take it, in spite of the fact that Neen is so clearly only asking for honesty here so they can solve the situation together. Runch is so desperate to preserve the happiness and peace they’ve managed to find over the last few days that she doesn’t even realise how she’s dooming them – there’s no way that Neen won’t find out that this is the same woman Kingkamol wants as a new daughter-in-law. Runch is once again choosing to leave the bomb ticking for a later explosion – in her defence, she has limited resources to deal with anything right now, and she’s addressing things as they occur, but it’s hard to excuse her behaviour when it’s so clear already how it will blow up in her face, and how much it will hurt Neen when it does, in spite of her stated intention to spare her feelings. How can they reconcile when Runch’s insecurities keep putting everything in peril, when her lack of trust in herself translates into lack in trust in their relationship, in Neen?

The final reveal of what Runch has been keeping from Neen comes quickly: Kingkamol once again fakes being sick to get her daughter to meet up with Meilin (who has agreed to the meeting to address the fact that Runch has been married this whole time). Neen comes with her – both to support, I think, but also because it means that Runch can’t keep whatever is happening secret anymore. Before they arrive, Kingkamol has a truly insane conversation with Meilin about how in spite of her daughter being married, the marriage is failing, the marriage is soon going to end in divorce, to keep her on the line somehow, which is the exact moment when Runch and a very fired up Neen walk in – because how dare Kingkamol talk about divorce when she doesn’t even know yet that they are actually getting divorced, when she is actively lying to Meilin because she is recruiting her as her daughter’s mistress. You can see in Runch’s face that her house of cards is falling down, and they end up having a fight: Neen very clearly telling Runch that she is upset because Runch didn’t come clean when she was asked directly about it, and Runch adding to the damage by insisting that her mother wouldn’t do what they have just witnessed her doing very clearly (I think it’s also interesting that Neen knows Runch doesn’t have any feelings for Meilin but also instantly clocked that Meilin has feelings for Runch).

Neen: Your mum told that girl that we’re getting divorced, even when…. Well, we are getting divorced for real. But your mum doesn’t know that.
Runch: No one could ever replace you, Neen.

That little pause after “even when” is maybe one of the most heartbreaking moments in In Love Forever so far: it could contain so much. Even when we’re so in love, even when we’ve been fixing the relationship – but it remains unsaid, as Neen realises that they are still getting divorced, haven’t actually talked about not getting divorced, and are once again in the emotional place where a divorce seems like the better option, in spite of her trying so hard to fix things, in spite of her just having spent the last few days falling in love again with Runch. It’s like she wakes up from the daze that started at the garden house in that moment, coming back to reality. “This isn’t what lovers do to protect each other”, she says to Runch, even though she can’t come up with what exactly Runch has to do to fix it (“You’ll have to prove it”). And they’re back to sleeping in separate rooms.

The things that Runch attempts to do to fix things – the things that kind of worked in the past – fail. She makes breakfast and Neen refuses it. She tries to seduce Neen, and Neen, wobbly but determined, manages to walk away from it, even though it’s clearly a struggle to do so. They end up having to spend together because of Neen’s dad – another conveniently timed moment where the facade needs to be kept up for the public. Neen exerts a small amount of revenge on Runch by picking the most provocative outfit she can find, a backless dress, knowing that Runch will jealously note every single person who looks at her wife (“don’t play games with me”), but not even Neen can escape the appeal of Runch deciding not to answer another phone call from her mother (who for once genuinely needs help after falling in her home) and instead dancing with her wife.

Runch: Every couple is bound to have misunderstandings. What matters is whether they will still hold each other’s hands.

I think there’s a sense here that it has taken Runch this long to realise that she has to change something about the way she approaches the core issue in their relationship: her mother, that the other gestures aren’t enough, that in spite of them existing in their little bubble for a few nights, what she has to do to genuinely save the relationship is choose Neen over her mother and defend her marriage against what Kingkamol is trying to do to it. They leave the party after Neen picks up a phone call from Meilin on Runch’s phone about what happened to Kingkamol, and in the fight that ensues, Runch ends up standing up for Neen, telling her mother firmly that she does not have the right to speak to Neen like this (“It is because of you that Runch is rebelling against me”), that she has no right to replace her and make her feel less – and then they hold hands, with Runch following her own statement that this is what matters.

Runch: I married her. She is my family. You have to respect my decision. Mum, I won’t let anyone hurt my wife’s feelings. No one. Not even you, mum. Let’s go home.

It’s so significant that she is choosing to stand up for Neen in a moment where her mother is genuinely hurt, instead of softening to her, and Neen realises what it means. But we’ve seen that Kingkamol will never stop trying.

In the flashback, Runch and Neen, maybe about a year into dating, are spending time at a beach house, but it is incessantly raining outside. Neen is frustrated and sad to see her plans destroyed, but Runch suggests they could just spend their days and nights in the room, doing “something that won’t make you feel bored”. Maybe it’s the first time they say “I love you”. How long can they stay like this before Kingkamol starts interfering? 

Random notes:

Runch is having a bad episode here (truly human-disastering all over it), but Meilin is also having a very bad not good week: Att ends up being the person to tell her that Runch is already married, and she knows immediately that Kingkamol has been manipulating her feelings in such a cruel and deliberate way. The pathetic conversation they end up having later where Kingkamol explains that Runch is about to get divorced anyway is just the nail in the coffin, and yet she somehow still shows up when Kingkamol needs her.

File under surprising things you don’t expect people to say who are about to get divorced: “I love you more and more every day.” There isn’t an explicit recognition here that Runch never asked to get divorced because she fell out of love because that would mean talking about the divorce but do we think that Neen fully understands at this point, and it’s why she’s showing so much patience in this episode? 

Neen is really compelling in this episode because she doesn’t really explode until the little moment after Kingkamol’s fall: she’s contained and quietly sad for most of it, through all the little betrayals. I really like the small moment when they’re having lunch together after the fainting episode and both comment that they’ve lost weight, acknowledging the toll it’s taken on both of them, still trying to care for each other (Neen keeps showing up and gives Runch so many chances to fully explain, but she never takes the opportunity).

Kingkamol voices her precise concerns about the marriage here, about how Runch will have a better life if she divorces because she is so inferior to Neen, because she wants Runch to be admired for her own successes – all of this with meek interjections from her husband, who isn’t equipped to intervene in any meaningful way (he does give an accurate prediction of the future though: “Runch doesn’t talk much. She tolerates everything. But if one day she can’t take it anymore, she’ll run away so far you’ll never see her again.”) All of these ideas are clearly things she taught Runch to think as she raised her: that she must be successful on her own, at all costs, but also that her success means Kingkamol’s success as a mother. It’s just so unfortunate for Runch that she’s now existing at work with someone who feeds into these ideas, while it’s so clear from everything that Neen does that she doesn’t consider herself superior at all, and just considers whatever she has as something they share in equally (in short, Runch needs therapy).