In Love Forever: 1x03.
This is by far the sweetest, most romantic episode of In Love Forever yet, and it’s fascinating how the sweetness comes from how the majority of the episode kind of mirrors the flashbacks scenes that have been unfolding as their own little story after the main part of the episode finishes. It’s still Runch and Neen after their shared decision to go through with the divorce, it should still have all the bitterness of a couple that still deeply loves one another (even if Neen has no certainty about Runch’s love – I would say she does by the end of the episode) being forced into divorce by an outside influence outside their control. And yet, for most of it, the two main characters feel like they’ve entered a protective bubble far removed from their normal circumstances where their love can exist without the outside pressure that Runch’s mum exerts on their relationship. In Neen’s grandparents’ house in the countryside, with their phones out of reach, living a life that is different from their normal routines, it becomes obvious that they love each other but that they are deeply in love – and a year into their marriage, three years into officially being together, can still surprise each other with things they didn’t previously know, that make them even more in love.
Talking about bitterness – with all the fluff, all the happiness that carries the episode – it almost fades by the end of it, but it is difficult not to sometimes still feel it in the back of your throat, like an unexploded bomb quietly ticking away underneath. This is true especially with how the episode begins, and there’s something about Runch here, leading up to their trip, that shows pretty clearly already that this happiness won’t last. A character that constantly falls back into ignoring problems because they are too big to solve or would require radical decisions they’re not ready to make can be frustrating to watch, even if all of her actions come from either love or devotion to her mother. I’m torn about whether I believe that she knows exactly what her mother is trying to do the moment she walks into her house and finds her sitting there with Meilin, or if she is naive about Kingkamol’s motives, not realising the great lengths she will go to to rid herself of Neen, still maintaining an image of her in her head that sees her mother as protective but not vicious. She must realise, the moment she walks in and finds her almost jittery with excitement, that she has been lured home as a ploy (proving Neen’s immediate reaction upon receiving her message, “I bet the old hag is faking it”, true), that her mother does not in fact require her to take her to the hospital, and her high blood pressure, if anything, is due to finally having come up with a plot that will truly hurt Neen in a way that sticks. It’s the whole way the scene unfolds: the excited introduction of Meilin as the childhood friend who used to play with her (long enough ago that Runch doesn’t seem to remember her very vividly, while she has left such a big impression on the younger woman), the attempts to connect them through their shared careers (which Meilin has chosen because of Runch, because Runch is her idol among other things), Meilin’s wide-eyed excitement at seeing her and the way she receives her career guidance, and her phone number. Runch does strike me as the kind of person that would be unaware of someone having a crush on her – I think if Neen hadn’t been so forward and clear about her intentions, Runch would have been very much in the dark and never made the first move – but she should be able to read her mother well enough to see what she is planning. She’s also very well aware how jealous Neen is – remember her reaction at the coffee shop, and that was just a friendly interaction with a regular barista – and knows to keep Meilin’s whole existence a secret up to the point where she has to explain it. It’s kind of defensible based on the fact that from Runch’s perspective, she’s just helping an old childhood friend get settled in her career and she knows that bringing it up would upset both Neen and the very, very brief period of peace they’ve achieved since Neen managed to take full revenge on Kingkamol, but it’s also the actions of someone who has spent a lot of energy and effort on controlling what information Neen has about her life (remember how long she kept her struggles at work a secret).
Talking about bitterness – with all the fluff, all the happiness that carries the episode – it almost fades by the end of it, but it is difficult not to sometimes still feel it in the back of your throat, like an unexploded bomb quietly ticking away underneath. This is true especially with how the episode begins, and there’s something about Runch here, leading up to their trip, that shows pretty clearly already that this happiness won’t last. A character that constantly falls back into ignoring problems because they are too big to solve or would require radical decisions they’re not ready to make can be frustrating to watch, even if all of her actions come from either love or devotion to her mother. I’m torn about whether I believe that she knows exactly what her mother is trying to do the moment she walks into her house and finds her sitting there with Meilin, or if she is naive about Kingkamol’s motives, not realising the great lengths she will go to to rid herself of Neen, still maintaining an image of her in her head that sees her mother as protective but not vicious. She must realise, the moment she walks in and finds her almost jittery with excitement, that she has been lured home as a ploy (proving Neen’s immediate reaction upon receiving her message, “I bet the old hag is faking it”, true), that her mother does not in fact require her to take her to the hospital, and her high blood pressure, if anything, is due to finally having come up with a plot that will truly hurt Neen in a way that sticks. It’s the whole way the scene unfolds: the excited introduction of Meilin as the childhood friend who used to play with her (long enough ago that Runch doesn’t seem to remember her very vividly, while she has left such a big impression on the younger woman), the attempts to connect them through their shared careers (which Meilin has chosen because of Runch, because Runch is her idol among other things), Meilin’s wide-eyed excitement at seeing her and the way she receives her career guidance, and her phone number. Runch does strike me as the kind of person that would be unaware of someone having a crush on her – I think if Neen hadn’t been so forward and clear about her intentions, Runch would have been very much in the dark and never made the first move – but she should be able to read her mother well enough to see what she is planning. She’s also very well aware how jealous Neen is – remember her reaction at the coffee shop, and that was just a friendly interaction with a regular barista – and knows to keep Meilin’s whole existence a secret up to the point where she has to explain it. It’s kind of defensible based on the fact that from Runch’s perspective, she’s just helping an old childhood friend get settled in her career and she knows that bringing it up would upset both Neen and the very, very brief period of peace they’ve achieved since Neen managed to take full revenge on Kingkamol, but it’s also the actions of someone who has spent a lot of energy and effort on controlling what information Neen has about her life (remember how long she kept her struggles at work a secret).
It’s hard to decide what goes on in Runch’s head because this is still the person who asked her wife for a divorce, but has been acting like someone trying everything in their power to emotionally prevent that divorce ever since. Maybe, to justify it to herself, she’s following Neen’s request to “pretend to be in love”, but it feels like a very deliberate and convenient misinterpretation of that request that doesn’t really take into account what it would feel like for Neen to be in a marriage heading towards separation and yet have a wife who is behaving as if she is trying to make Neen fall in love with her all over. It translates into what I think could be summarised most succinctly as a mindfuck, like Neen is stuck on a roller-coaster outside of her control while at the same time trying to protect herself and her feelings by creating clear boundaries that Runch keeps pushing. There’s something deeply endearing about their dynamic, Runch coming home and realising that Neen has picked up dinner for them to share but is now quietly sulking in her room, food untouched. She tries to coax her like you would a cat hiding under the sofa, snacks at the ready, gently talking her into having dinner with her, knowing exactly how to get her to come down eventually. When they talk about what happened with Runch’s mum over food, she leaves out the part about Meilin. When her phone chimes with a notification, she discards it – because she’s having dinner with Neen and Neen comes first, but it’s also easy to guess who the message would have come from.
The second strike against Runch in this episode, at least for me, is how she comes across as almost manipulative when she decides to come along for the trip to Neen’s grandparents, and this would all be a bit more understandable if there was a clearer sense here that Runch is deliberately trying to mend the relationship to prevent the divorce (and maybe she is, subconsciously). She uses Neen’s dad’s request that they pretend their relationship is solid for another four months and tells Neen that her grandparents would be upset to know they were getting divorced – but won’t they feel upset regardless when they do get divorced? – and she does it again when they arrive at the house and Neen has even more reason to be angry with her, after the phone call with Runch’s mum in the car. As soon as Neen hears about Meilin from Kingkamol (who doesn’t know she’s on speakerphone), she immediately puts the puzzle pieces together and knows exactly what is happening, and it doesn’t even matter that much in the end if Runch kept it a secret to protect her feelings or because she thought she could manage the situation herself. It adds a bitter note but then they enter the bubble and it’s like the outside world, along with all those concerns, disappears, which is maybe part of the problem because to build something sustainable that can survive outside, once they leave, they would have had to talk about it, and come up with a concrete plan about how to manage Kingkamol together, especially now that the situation has escalated. Instead they get caught up in a haze, a rush that almost feels like first love, the romance of big gestures, the shared safety of two people who only have eyes for each other and disregard the rest of the world.
At the same time as Runch frustrates me, I feel such a deep sadness for her especially in this episode that contrasts her own family with Neen’s, and shows how they are opposites of one another. Here’s Kingkamol, plotting to destroy her daughter’s marriage for her own gain, and here’s Neen’s entire family, coming up with a plan to save it because they want Neen to be happy and they know how much they love one another. Of course these two lovely old people who have been married to each other forever and live a beautiful life in the countryside, and love their granddaughter deeply, would be in on the plan, and of course, as much as Neen’s big brother wanted to exact his tiny revenge on Runch for grievances caused, he’s just as invested in saving the marriage that he knows means so much to her. It’s like he said at the dinner, after getting Runch drunk: he knows that if they did get divorced, Neen would suffer, and she would find it hard or impossible to love someone new. Runch’s biggest fear is that Neen, who was raised with so much love and devotion (the selfless kind that doesn’t expect anything in return), would turn spiteful because of all the hatred that Kingkamol has been throwing at her. By permitting Neen to be turned into someone she isn’t, she’d not just be letting Neen down, but the entire family that has raised her with gentleness and care. And so the grandparents set them up to spend time divorced from the world for a change, with tasks they have never done with each other before, a quieter life away from Runch’s family and job. Notably, Runch proves herself to be perfectly capable in that setting, and maybe more self-secure because of it: while Neen presumably grew up with staff around the house and has never had to do the manual tasks of keeping house or garden, Runch knows how to repot the roses and how to clean a large blanket in a tub. It shows the difference in their status, but also reveals a side of Runch that Neen hasn’t seen before, so much so that she asks her if she maybe quietly would want to live like this, if she could (Neen prompting Runch to voice what she wants and Runch immediately veering away from a genuine answer to “I just want to be with you” reveals everything you need to know about how much time Runch has spent on thinking about her actual needs and wants). Who would Runch be if she hadn’t been groomed into the ambitious career that her mother wanted for her, and if she now didn’t have to hustle so hard at work just to prove that she didn’t just get to where she is because her wife is the niece of the CEO? What would their marriage look like if they lived a quiet life removed from the outside world, a long car drive away from Runch’s mother’s house? It is all a mirage, a little dream in the middle of this shared nightmare, but it’s a compelling one.
The flashback to the past we get here for the first time in the middle of the episode instead of just the end is so smart, showcasing how deliberate everything about In Love Forever is. It doesn’t fit the pattern of the other insights into how the relationship started, which have been sweet and unburdened by the outside world: this is, as Runch says, a memory that comes with mixed emotions, and therefore in a way a seed of some of their troubles now. Runch picks some roadside flowers for Neen and it reminds them both of when Neen, when they just started seeing each other, hand-delivered a beautiful bouquet of flowers to Neen’s work to celebrate a promotion and an Employee of the Year award. How did she know? Because she shares a surname with the CEO of the company, a fact that is news to Runch in that moment and leaves her in such a stupor of confusion and worry that she almost misses when Neen asks her to be her girlfriend. It’s the first time since they met at the cafe that they are not entirely on the same page: Neen is so enthusiastic and forward that she is jokingly asking Runch if she would like to share the surname, Runch is sinking into a world of worry because she wonders if Neen had a hand in getting her promoted, and if not, if people will misinterpret it that way. It’s significant that this overshadows the beginnings of them dating so much that Runch would later describe it as “mixed emotions”, when it really should be a moment of complete happiness: they’re going to date, they’re going to kiss for the first time, they’re going to get married two years later, but it all begins with Runch being so deep in her head about the implications that it takes her a moment before her feelings for Neen catch up to the eventual “yes” (and I think, also significantly, that Neen has absolutely no idea at that stage that Runch is going through a turmoil of emotions).
There’s this little moment at the lunch table with the grandparents, after Neen asks them how they made their marriage last so long and they say it’s about being patient, about not acting on emotions because that can make things worse, where Neen’s grandmother says sometimes when she looks at her husband’s handsome face, it helps her to be patient with him, and Neen says it’s the same for her – because as much as Neen has probably gone into trip thinking the goal was to hold up the facade of a happy relationship for her grandparents, there is nothing performative about the admission that in spite of all of her attempts to guard her feelings, to protect herself against the emotional pain of divorce, Runch knows exactly how to make her weak. There have been a few moments over the last few episodes where Neen, in spite of her attempts to remain hard-hearted, couldn’t help but secretly smile adoringly because of something that Runch has done (in this episode, it’s after Runch insists on packing for her because she always forgets something). It’s very clear what Runch loves about Neen – in essence, all the things that Kingkamol likes least about her – but Neen sometimes keeps her cards close to her chest, because she is so furious at Runch for what she has done – that it’s even more heart-breaking when her adoration for her breaks through the walls she’s trying to put up. When her grandfather says “I hope you’ll love each other and stay together until you die.”, when Runch talks about why she loves white roses – because they “symbolise a love that is innocent and beautiful, as well as eternal love and new beginnings”, it hits her harder than either the grandfather or Runch realise: she wants so much to believe in the idea of eternal love, but she is also trying her hardest to protect herself from the emotional damage of her love for Runch ending, and there is almost – a cruelty, maybe – in Runch, out of love, not allowing her to stay protected, especially because what they are building here, in this bubble, is clearly not going to stay in place once they leave.
From Runch’s perspective, she is doing what is being asked of her and what she is naturally inclined to do anyway, because she’s never fallen out of love: she always tends towards showing her love through acts of service, and there is this moment of genuine fear and deep sadness when Neen’s grandfather talks to her about planning the birthday surprise and says he hasn’t seen Neen truly happy, truly smile in a while (inadvertently acknowledging that he knows about the divorce, and maybe Runch realises here as well that he already knows what they’ve been trying to hide – and playing into Runch’s greatest fear of being the reason for Neen’s unhappiness). Neen drops her grandparents off at the temple, they’ll spend the night elsewhere, they’ll have the house herself: when Neen comes back to the house, it’s dark, Runch is out of sight. She follows the lighted garden path to the greenhouse, which suddenly lights up like a fairy-tale wonderland: it’s beautiful, magical, and here is Runch’s handsome face with the birthday cake. With the music, the wonder in Neen’s face, it’s clear that it feels like time turning back to when she originally fell in love. They stargaze together in the garden, something Neen hasn’t done since her childhood. She sees a shooting star, another occasion to make a wish after blowing out her birthday candles, and Runch leans in for a kiss. It feels like the new beginning that the white roses promised, and the episode, again in the flashback, loops the moment back to their very first kiss, unburdened, giddy from their first day of officially dating, romantic, in a park, under a tree, still removed from everything that will become an obstacle in the future. It’s perfect in the moment but the real world is waiting, and Kingkamol has been plotting.
Random notes:
I’ve been thinking about how sometimes Runch and Neen’s relationship feels like it was arrested: they have only been with each other for three years, one of which they’ve been married for, but in terms of how they communicate with each other, how they show love, how little they sometimes seem to be able to understand each other’s feelings, it feels like they are in an earlier phase of their relationship than they should be in at this stage. It shows how much Kingkamol has interrupted what their natural growth would have been if they didn’t have to deal with her.
This episode really visually captures the dreamy nature of Runch and Neen’s trip: it’s such a gorgeous location, shot so beautifully, but at the same time effervescent like a bubble because it cannot last: it’s a dream (matching the original title, Dreaming of the Wedding Day), and they’ll have to wake up eventually.
I think for the purpose of the story we have to suspend our disbelief if Meilin really doesn’t realise that Runch is married – Kingkamol clearly hasn’t told her, and so she doesn’t: but for someone who has had such a long-term crush, a life-changing one by the sounds of it, it’s hard to believe she wouldn’t have either read the news about a presumably quite public wedding, stalked Runch’s socials that I’m so sure have “super married” (she’s that kind of wife, right?) all over them, or noticed the wedding ring when they had dinner. She’s presented as a very sweet character and I don’t think there’s any maliciousness there, and it just helps to show how naive she is that she apparently doesn’t know, which makes her the perfect daughter-in-law that Kingkamol wants.
I low-key love this comment not just for how mean and sassy it is, but how Neen seems to intuit exactly what kind of person Kingkamol would be pushing into Runch’s path, and her instinct is to immediately infantilise her exactly for the reasons her mother-in-law would choose her.
Runch’s dad realises what his wife is doing immediately as well and calls it “immoral” (not that he does anything beyond trying to convince her), but appeals to her morality fail – Meilin, polite, nice, not a single trace of suspicion about Kingkamol’s motives in her head – is exactly the kind of woman Kingkamol wants as a daughter-in-law, because she knows that she would always come first if they were married.
I also deeply, deeply loathe something about Kingkamol weaponising her supposed acceptance of queerness, the little “These days it’s normal for women to like women” comment meant to elicit honesty from Meilin, presenting herself as a good ally (also because in a different story that centred Meilin it would be so tragic to have held on to this crush, to have shaped her whole life for Runch who barely remembers her, and to have her crush’s mother bait her like this).
From Runch’s perspective, she is doing what is being asked of her and what she is naturally inclined to do anyway, because she’s never fallen out of love: she always tends towards showing her love through acts of service, and there is this moment of genuine fear and deep sadness when Neen’s grandfather talks to her about planning the birthday surprise and says he hasn’t seen Neen truly happy, truly smile in a while (inadvertently acknowledging that he knows about the divorce, and maybe Runch realises here as well that he already knows what they’ve been trying to hide – and playing into Runch’s greatest fear of being the reason for Neen’s unhappiness). Neen drops her grandparents off at the temple, they’ll spend the night elsewhere, they’ll have the house herself: when Neen comes back to the house, it’s dark, Runch is out of sight. She follows the lighted garden path to the greenhouse, which suddenly lights up like a fairy-tale wonderland: it’s beautiful, magical, and here is Runch’s handsome face with the birthday cake. With the music, the wonder in Neen’s face, it’s clear that it feels like time turning back to when she originally fell in love. They stargaze together in the garden, something Neen hasn’t done since her childhood. She sees a shooting star, another occasion to make a wish after blowing out her birthday candles, and Runch leans in for a kiss. It feels like the new beginning that the white roses promised, and the episode, again in the flashback, loops the moment back to their very first kiss, unburdened, giddy from their first day of officially dating, romantic, in a park, under a tree, still removed from everything that will become an obstacle in the future. It’s perfect in the moment but the real world is waiting, and Kingkamol has been plotting.
Random notes:
I’ve been thinking about how sometimes Runch and Neen’s relationship feels like it was arrested: they have only been with each other for three years, one of which they’ve been married for, but in terms of how they communicate with each other, how they show love, how little they sometimes seem to be able to understand each other’s feelings, it feels like they are in an earlier phase of their relationship than they should be in at this stage. It shows how much Kingkamol has interrupted what their natural growth would have been if they didn’t have to deal with her.
This episode really visually captures the dreamy nature of Runch and Neen’s trip: it’s such a gorgeous location, shot so beautifully, but at the same time effervescent like a bubble because it cannot last: it’s a dream (matching the original title, Dreaming of the Wedding Day), and they’ll have to wake up eventually.
I think for the purpose of the story we have to suspend our disbelief if Meilin really doesn’t realise that Runch is married – Kingkamol clearly hasn’t told her, and so she doesn’t: but for someone who has had such a long-term crush, a life-changing one by the sounds of it, it’s hard to believe she wouldn’t have either read the news about a presumably quite public wedding, stalked Runch’s socials that I’m so sure have “super married” (she’s that kind of wife, right?) all over them, or noticed the wedding ring when they had dinner. She’s presented as a very sweet character and I don’t think there’s any maliciousness there, and it just helps to show how naive she is that she apparently doesn’t know, which makes her the perfect daughter-in-law that Kingkamol wants.
Neen: Please tell that Meilin girl of yours that if she’s so sad you’ll buy her a lollipop.
I low-key love this comment not just for how mean and sassy it is, but how Neen seems to intuit exactly what kind of person Kingkamol would be pushing into Runch’s path, and her instinct is to immediately infantilise her exactly for the reasons her mother-in-law would choose her.
Runch’s dad realises what his wife is doing immediately as well and calls it “immoral” (not that he does anything beyond trying to convince her), but appeals to her morality fail – Meilin, polite, nice, not a single trace of suspicion about Kingkamol’s motives in her head – is exactly the kind of woman Kingkamol wants as a daughter-in-law, because she knows that she would always come first if they were married.
I also deeply, deeply loathe something about Kingkamol weaponising her supposed acceptance of queerness, the little “These days it’s normal for women to like women” comment meant to elicit honesty from Meilin, presenting herself as a good ally (also because in a different story that centred Meilin it would be so tragic to have held on to this crush, to have shaped her whole life for Runch who barely remembers her, and to have her crush’s mother bait her like this).
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